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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Relationship problems

6 replies

Jobear1992 · 01/04/2018 08:17

Hi all. I feel like I'm going crazy but I need to get his out and need advice. I'm 8 months pregnant with my first baby. I'm so excited to meet her. My partner however seems really distant. And as I'm writing this I'm still waiting for him to come home having gone out at 8pm last night. He went to someone's house and apparently fell asleep he told me this at 4am and still hasn't come home. Am I the only women that finds this really odd? I'm getting this awful feeling that he's cheating on me but maybe that's because I've been treated so badly in the past? I don't want to ask him of he's found someone else as it may just be all in my head. But to him it's completely normal not to come home to his heavily pregnant girlfriend. Am I just being annoying or does anyone else agree that this behaviour is odd? :(

OP posts:
Minime85 · 01/04/2018 08:21

Hi, hope you are ok. Everyone’s relationships are different. But it wouldn’t be ok for me. You need to speak to him

pog100 · 01/04/2018 08:23

It's not odd, it's fucking horrible and you shouldn't put up with it. I know it's a terrible timing, though all too common, but I think you need to be considering a future without him. Your gut feeling may well be right but even if it isn't, if he can't show care for you now, it's highly unlikely to improve when the baby is born.
I'm sorry.

Original poster
Jobear1992 · 06/04/2018 21:18

So he came home eventually and when I questioned him he said he is old enough to do what he likes and that he won't be going out when baby is here. Since then though I have barely seen much of him at all. I feel so alone. I don't have anyone close to me that I can just go and see. I don't want to live with him anymore but as sad as it sounds I can't leave our dog. I just feel stuck. I love him so much I just feel like we have grown apart. I feel like he doesn't want me anymore. So I'll be doing him a favour by just going

OP posts:
OrangeCrush19 · 07/04/2018 05:17

Congratulations on your pregnancy Flowers

Why would you be the one to leave? Why can’t you stay in the house with your baby and your dog and he finds somewhere else to go?

Do you own your home? Whose name is it in?

ChickenMom · 07/04/2018 06:03

It’s not ok for him to act like this. You shouldn’t be ok with it either.,it’s totally thoughtless and disrespectful. Why don’t you ask him to leave. Tell him you want some space or do you have family you can go stay with? I know it’s hard to leave the dog but you have a baby on the way and being happy and comfortable and having support comes first.

Motherd · 07/04/2018 08:30

I know you've already probably thought of this but similar was happening to me earlier on in my pregnancy and it can be due to them feeling alone themselves on the pregnancy and being scared about baby coming. It's NO excuse but in my situation it did stop (I'm 26 weeks pregnant now) and we are now as happy as ever. I think my DP wanted to try and get as much late night drinking sessions in while he could but he's now realised how much that hurt me. Big hugs Flowers

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