My ex and I had sex the other night, I don’t know what to do?
Long story, sorry........
My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have dc’s. We haven’t shared a bed for 3+ years and we have officially been separated for 2 years. We get on well and have a good routine going for our dc. Because of where he lives and the various clubs/classes the dc attend, it is easier for him to stay with me and the dc at least once a week. He has his own room and there is never any issue with ‘boundaries’, I would go so far as to say we are friends, we talk laugh etc.
But for lots of reasons, his and mine, we haven’t worked as a couple, we did try marriage counselling at one time. It has taken a long time for us to get to this place, tears/tantrums/the whole shebang! I’m finally settled and happy with my life and ready to move on.
Then one night when we were drunk, he said ‘I’m off to bed’ and I said ‘okay, but no funny stuff’. I went to bed and realised that wasn’t what he meant. As I was telling myself not to worry about it, and that in the morning I could pretend I hadn’t said it, he came to bed and we had sex!!! The first sex we’ve had for years. I’d forgotten how much I like sex, I always loved sex with my husband. It was the one way we could guarantee getting over whatever problem we were having. It really was the end of our relationship when we stopped having sex.
The day after, I said I was sorry but not sorry and I sent him a text last night just saying I enjoyed having sex with him.
I don’t know what to do. I’m beating myself up for unnecessarily complicating my life. I do love him but I’m happy with where I am in my life. But I really miss sex, how do I suggest to him that we could have a ‘with benefits arrangement’? Would this work? Even thinking about it is making me want to rip his clothes off but he has never been a spontaneous sex kind of guy so I’m not even sure how that would work. And I don’t want to confuse our dc.
Help!!!!
WWYD???