Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I stupid to pursue this, feel like im loosing everything

4 replies

ProbablyNaive · 09/05/2007 23:20

Im a single mum, and have had a male best friend for a long time, for me there was always that extra spark there between us, but never thought it was reciprocated. He is brilliant and a really nice guy, he's been there for me through so much and me for him too, he makes me laugh constantly and brightens my life up, I love him.
Several weeks ago, we ended up kissing one night and one thing led to another, this has gone on ever since. I so want to be with this man and get the impression it's what he wants too...
The problem is he's in an awkward relationship place right now, he's seeing someone who is with someone else, this woman doesnt seem to be making any effort to get out of what she's in to be with my friend, and he's just been waiting for a long time now for her to do something so they can be together.
We talked about everything a few weeks ago, and he said he loves her but now he feels confused about me and just doesn't know what he wants anymore. I took a few days away from it all after that as I felt bad that I was possibly ruining what he already had, but since then we've become more and more like a couple, but he's still 'confused' about what he wants.
I really don't want to walk away, I feel so stupid, but we've always been so close that even a few days without talking to each other is torture for me, he's my best friend.

I think I just needed to write this down but any advice gratefully received. What the hell is the deal with this guy? Is he just taking what he can get because he can't be with this other woman right now, is he testing the waters with me before breaking it off with the other woman? I'm so confused! I really don't want to loose him, and it's hard to talk to him, he just likes to stick his head in the sand and just have a laugh instead, but I need answers!

OP posts:
bubblymummy · 09/05/2007 23:33

Hi P

He sounds very confused and I think you are looking for some clarity.

No advice but I'm sure someone will be along soon who'll put you on the right track.
x

hairymclary · 09/05/2007 23:36

my brutally honest opinion is that he is shagging you while he waits for the other woman.

BUT, i could be wrong. either way he needs to decide what he wants. you or her. you need to back right off and tell him that when he makes his decision to let you know.

warthog · 10/05/2007 06:46

warning bells here i'm afraid. he's 'the other man' in someone else's relationship? he doesn't want to talk about things, just wants to have a laugh? i think you should brace yourself for this not going much further. i'm sorry.

BecauseImWorthIt · 10/05/2007 08:28

Sounds like you should call a halt to the physical side of this relationship until he has decided what he wants.

It may be that you have to withdraw emotional support for him as well, as it probably isn't doing you any good at the moment.

I would talk to him and explain all this, and then try not to see him for a month or so, until he has reached a decision.

I don't think he's intentionally messing you around from what you say, but he does need to get his head straight and decide what his priorities are. And tbh, you being around is probably making it harder for him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page