What a fool I've been

[Oopshediditagain]

I've name changed for this in case my original thread is being watched. Some of you were kind enough to post last time offering words of encouragement and support. It involved the breakdown of my marriage following my husband sending inappropriate messages to another woman. The thread ended on a high - he begged me to take him back, I said no, I planned a trip away to inspire myself and go someone I'd wanted to go for a long time.

Unforutnately just days after booking that trip i got a phone call from the doctors. They mentioned the possibility of ovarian cancer and a shitty January turned into a nightmare January. Overwhelmed, I put the recent events behind me and asked him to come back. I felt numb thought I couldn't cope by myself.

If anyone does remember me - I went on that trip and had a bloody great time, did everything I wanted to and felt much better although still so worried about my health.

So I was given a rapid access gynae appointment and the doctors there weren't as worried as my GP. They think I have e n d o and I'm waiting for an op to diagnose and treat.

Still with husband. Things have mostly been forfotton about. Normal life resumed including a normal sex life.

So today through a long winded way my spidey senses started tingling when he said he'd been to a mutual, married female friends house. He didnt tell me he'd been over there. That's odd. That's when i checked my old friend messenger. Very distubing frequent back and forths. Confronted him - the usual - its all in your mind. You're paranoid. We're just friends. Am I not allowed female friends? Checked whatsapp. Everything deleted bar one message. He accuses me of (being a nasty vindictive untrustworthy bitch) and throws his wedding ring at me. Baring in mind what happened in January.

Anyway. I texted the woman in question asking for the truth. She said they'd kissed and nearly had sex.

She was one of the.people who helped me through the badtimes before. Hence why I don't want to link to the original thread. Double betrayal this time. I can't helo but thinking I've brought this pain on myself for being an absolute fucking tool.

Sorry it's long. It's the dark hours and i can't sleep.

So sorry l, you’ve been through so much xxx

Didn't want to read and run. But probably not much use to you. Sorry. What an absolute shit he is. You haven't been stupid, you hoped for decency. He has behaved awfully. You really are being tested at the moment, what a stressful time. Horrible for you. She is a nasty piece of work too. What is wrong with people?

I think you need to put him behind you as fast as possible and really focus on you. You can get through this

Here if you want to talk is all I can offer

Thank you. How on earth can someone go and cheat then come pick you up from work and pretend nothing has happened. Go to bed and be intimate with with you. How can a man do that? It's shameless.

Sorry this crap has happened.

Me too.

This has absolutely got to be it though. I'm just going to have to cope with my dodgy ovaries alone.

There's two lovely children to think of.

She has two kids too. I'm not going to tell him as it would be out of spite and I want to be the bigger person. The plan was to meet for drinks tonight all of us friends. Husband is probably there. Having the time of his life. I'm left to pick up the pieces

Wow. I’m so sorry OP.... what do you think you are going to do? How old are DCs?

I'd rather not be too specific with ages but one is older teenager. One is primary age. It's the youngest one I worry for.

Sorry. Thinking of you

You can hold your head high knowing you have nothing to be ashamed of
Try to rest even if you can't sleep

So sorry to hear that. What a shit husband and shit friend

You have not been a fool but it is time to move on. I am so sorry to hear of your medical problems. I personally would LTB and concentrate on myself as he will never change - never.

As to why some men (nay people) are selfish bastards - who knows they just are. I take comfort in the fact that what goes around comes around.

Thank you all. It must be over now. Financially and emotionally I'll be better off. Eventually.

I'm going to shove all his clothes in black bags for when he returns. Luckily I've got his keys so he can't just turn up when I'm out.

It will get better - I promise. However hard and tough at the moment I promise it will get better. Thinking of you

You haven't been a fool, OP. If love were something we could turn off like a tap, I would not have stayed to be hit a second time by my ex.

So sorry this is happening to you, good luck with your medical treatment.

Try to find a positive, now you know that you tried and you did everything you could. There will be no wondering about what could have been. He's vile, and her

You’ve done nothing wrong... he’s a complete arsehole. You’ll be so much better on your own with your dc

I have to face him today. He's collecting his clothes and picking up youngest child. He's admitted it now. Trying to remain dignified but it's hard when you just want to scream at him 😐

You will better if you don't, but sometimes it might slip out - don't be too hard on yourself it's ducking hard!

Stay strong, OP, you can get through this.

I’m so sorry this is happening! At least you will be able to look back and know you gave it every chance and did your best etc etc. It sounds like you will be much better off without him. Xxx

I will be. Thank you for the hand holding.

I will be 100% better off emotionally and financially without him. Just need to tough the hard bit out.