lesbian woman and straight man emotional affair?

[Camiila]

Is this possible?

How close would you happy for your straight male partners to be to a lesbian at work.

If your man was depressed and struggling and relying on the woman for practical and emotional support.

If she loves him ( platonically) and wants to help him as much as she can.

If they tell each other private things

If he is engaged and planning to marry later on in the year

How close can this relationship be?

Dunno. Is she actually a lesbian or is she bisexual? If she is totally unattracted to men, I can't see how it is different from a bromance.

100% lesbian, not attracted to men at all ever.

Why is he relying on this wo,an for emotional support, rather than a professional?

As PP said it is also dependent on whether her sexuality is fixed or fluid.

Why is he relying on this wo,an for emotional support, rather than a professional?

he is getting professional treatment for depression too, but still needs good friends

Why can't he have a friend?

I think sexual persuasion is a red herring here. If the DP is confiding more in a friend than their partner then there is a problem.

Well, I don't see a problem with the situation as described personally, but I suppose his fiancée might, if she feels like his friend has a closer relationship to him than the fiancée does, in the same way some women don't like their partners to have bromances. Are you the friend in this?

It's not really an emotional affair but I'd be upset if I were the fiancée and knew that I wasn't his first port of call for emotional support.

Who's telling you she's "100% lesbian" if he's your dp and you only know this from him I'd be highly sceptical.

In addition it kinda makes no difference if she's lesbian in terms of HIS attraction to her.

Diverting emotional energy away from the primary relationship except possibly to a professional is not acceptable.

My ex had a friend like this - except the friend was a man, who had a partner. Not that either of them spent any time with their partners because certainly in my ex's case, his friend came first. We couldn't make plans without his approval, he spent 3 weekends a month with him doing their hobby.... I decided it wasn't worth it.

Where are you on his priority list?

I assume that OP is either the lesbian friend or the man - not the fiancée - and I assume that the fiancée is kicking off and trying to limit contact

Dear God, why do people doubt sexuality when it's clearly stated? The friend is a 100% lesbian. Accept that and help rather than try to add additional complication.

OP - the question is why does the man have a closer emotional relationship with his friend than his fiance?

no, a close emotional friendship yes, but not closer than with his fiance

If it was a gay male friend would you have the same worry?

Depends if he is attracted to her, whether he is sharing openly with DF and what the trust is between the friend and DF - do they know each other?

People are allowed to have friends.

Sometimes a partner doesn't understand a particular problem as well as a friend might. For example if I'm having issues regarding my abusive family, my male friend who is from an abusive family, is often more useful to talk to than my dp.

Likewise my dp has female friends who he chats to about things that don't interest me...

People who cry emotional affair due to their partners having close friends make me sad tbh. No human is designed to confide in one partner for life... But folk get so jealous, it's sad really.

do they know each other?

slightly

Is he attracted to her, does his fiance know the extent of the friendship? Does she feel threatened?

I don’t think it’s an emotional affair unless there’s some sexual attraction. Sounds like close friends instead

If it's a genuine friendship where they confide in each other, what's the problem? In an ideal world we'd confide everything with our partners, but sometimes, we confide to our best friend, or a parent etc.

Regardless of her sexuality, if he is attracted to her sexually, it's a problem. Perhaps her lesbianism is appealing to him? or perhaps she really is just a nice woman with a good ear, or he's a nice guy with a listening ear?

There's a whole bunch of scenarios where this is fine, and a few where it's not, but ultimately it's about trust.

Surely it’s normal to have friendships where you confide in each other? Just because you may discuss subjects that you wouldn’t tell your partner doesn’t mean it’s an inappropriate relationship. LThis term emotional affair is banded around far to readily on here IMO often without any clarification or evidence of the actual “ affair” bit. A man and woman can have a non sexual friendship whether one is gay or not.

Just sounds like a friend. I’d also worry if the fiancé didn’t want him to have friends (irrrespctive of their sex or sexuality).