Depressed DH..,

[Doremisofarsogood]

My DH has been on citalopram (spelling??) for 3 years now. I found out after a year when he emailed me at work to tell me. Have never really got to the bottom of why, just that it helps "level out his moods". Except it really doesn't! He's so up and down lately I never know which version of him will come home. It could be the hyper-sexed DH dry humping me and groping at every opportunity, it could be lovey dovey DH being a bit romantic, it could be fun living DH wanting to have a few drinks and a laugh or it could be snappy irritable DH picking at everything. I never know which it'll be and it's so hard constantly adjusting to the different moods. I try to understand as best I can but he doesn't realise its hard for me too. The anti depressants don't seem to make any difference and he point blank refused to go to counselling, he thinks pills are the answer. I just don't know how to help him or how to make his life easier. I love him and am committed to him but he makes it so bloody hard sometimes! Hoping that someone with experience of this will be able to help me, I'm just getting worn down by it all. Thanks in advance x

Yeah I get that. I guess I don't want to make him feel worse by forcing him. But yes something needs to change. Have been out tonight so will speak to him tomorrow and explain how I feel.

You can't force him to want change.

You can make him recognise that even when he is down he still has to get up and clean the sink, chop veg, wash the children, etc.

He needs to realise that you've revoked his right do whatever the fuck he wants and have you quietly pick up his slack because it is damaging to you. And that matters.

Maybe then he will start to feel the need to own his recovery and will look into treatments himself.

What dose of the tablets does he take and is he taking them. You could discretely check - his mood sounds inconsistent with someone who is daily taking the correct dose. My mood is stable since I'm taking the dose daily.