Hello
This is my first thread and I can't help but feel uncomfortable about it since I havn't ever talked about this issue with anyone but him.
My boyfriend and I started our relationship 2 years ago. We started talking on skype and when we met in person we took it to the next level. I went into this relationship knowing he had some issues with his temper. We play online games and he gets angry very easily, he gets loud, he trash talks other players, he rage types, etc. It bothered me from the start but I thought it was something he would work on since he was aware that i hated it. And also... it was just games. I felt like it wouldn't be fair to take it too seriously.
I love him. He is an incredibly sweet and caring man. But its been 2 years and things are still the same. We see each other a lot more often now and i have gotten to see him deal with situations other than games and still reacting the same way!!
I am having an extremely hard time tolerating his behaviour... and arguing about it takes us nowhere because he doesn't see it as a problem. He thinks its normal. And whenever I try to confront him, instead of talking about the fact that he reacts aggressively, he starts arguing as to why it was completely normal to react that way and what went wrong and about other peoples mistakes, etc.
Last night we were in the car and the google map navigation system kept messing up. I don't know if it was the phone or the gps signal or whaaatever. The thing is: he got angry. He starts swearing. He starts yelling. He hits the steering wheel. He keeps blaming the app.
I tried to just shut up and let him deal with it since he was driving and it could have been dangerous. After a while I asked him to stop the car and check the route again... to calm down and take a break. I got ignored. I was so frustrated and scared at that point that i started crying. I did not want it to be a distraction since he was already upset. So I sucked it up, shut it and looked away. Things got worse to the point of him actually banging on the steering wheel. (He found his way shortly after that and he calmed down.)
!! To be clear: he has never been aggressive towards me and has yelled in very few occassions where we have both been angry at each other. I am also aware that I am extremely sensitive when it comes to angry men (due to past relationships ex and family). !!
I love this boy, there is so much good in our relationship. But this temper issue has been such a strong, negative aspect over these 2 year...and I am not sure anymore if I am doing the right thing by staying in this relationship. I struggle so much :( and I feel like its not fair towards him either. Sometimes I have to take a time out and ask for space. I wish there was something I could do to help him change or be more accepting of his behaviour. But idk anymore if thats the right mindset. If i should wish for him to change. If it isn't me who is just too sensitve about it.
Gaming is still a huge part of our lives (im studying to become a game artist) and its gotten impossible to actually enjoy a match together because he cant lose. When something doesnt go his way hes gone, you know... he just starts swearing and raises his voice, etc. I dont know what to do anymore. He apologises after the rants... but those apologiea have become so meaningless. He just keeps doing it and thinks its a normal way to react.
I need advice :( what do you think is the best way to go from here? Should i stay? How do i deal with this? Should i try to move on?
Thank you