Is it my fault?

[Kittykatxxo]

My boyfriend and I have never had an argument so lastnight we went for food and when we got back to his we had a good night watched a film and had a bottle of wine when we went to bed I'd had abit to much to drink and made a comment about our age difference 8 years (I'm younger) I asked him what he thinks about it since we had never brought it up before and he was abit took aback and said he hadn't thought of it before i then went on to ask him if he thinks it's going well and if he cares about me he said obviously and I said well it's not that obvious is it and went to go sleep a few seconds later he said look I can't go to sleep with you on a bad note I've got one of the most important meetings of my life tomorrow and I can't be stressed over you so I felt bad apologised and went sleep the next day I woke up and he said he hadn't been able to sleep and he had been up all night I asked if it was because of what I said and he said honestly don't worry about it babe after I left he also messaged me to tell me to seriously not let it worry me and to have a good day because he knew it would be eating away at me ... so I didn't mention it again but I feel awful. Do you think I've ruined things and he just isn't saying? Why would something so small make him unable to sleep but he won't tell me what he was thinking about

I think you're worrying too much! We all say silly things after a few too many and he has assured you that it's all fine.

More importantly, it sounds like you need to make sure that the age difference is ok with you! :)

All the best

I'm really struggling to see what happened here?! It's only 8 years that's nothing. I don't really get it

Sounds like you really overthink things?

He sounds like a bit of a drama queen really. He has "one of the most important meetings of his life" and didn't sleep all night? Really? I'd take both of those statements with a pinch of salt.

Then, when you tried to discuss it like a mature adult, he brushed you off with a "don't worry about it babe" but then followed it up with a text message to make sure you hadn't stopped worrying about it at all.

Don't spend your life blaming yourself for not understanding where you are with men who play games with your mind rather than communicate like normal adults.

Why would something so small make him unable to sleep but he won't tell me what he was thinking about Why indeed? He's being ridiculous really, isn't he? Punishing you for being a perceptive and independent woman who voiced her thoughts, would be my guess.

I think the drama llama here is the OP, not the BF (although the “most important meeting” thing sounds OTT unless it was going to earn him a serious pay rise or his job depended on it).

What was with all the talk of it not being obvious that he thought things were going well? How did that spring from a completely random question about the age gap? I’m not surprised he was on the back foot after that.

If someone started that type of conversation with me I would be a bit confused. I wonder if he thought you were trying to lead up to the "it's not you it's me" conversation. I did not get that he was being anything but confused and perhaps you are maybe an over thinker.

I wouldn't worry too much. I do think it was a bit off that you attempted to end a nice night with a quip suggesting you don't think he cares and can understand why he was a bit . That's not a great way to raise concerns but sure we aren't always the most logical when drinking!

Good sign he did raise it - at least he's not the type to sidestep something like that and immediately start snoring.

If you are insecure do discuss it with him - he does sound like he cares how you feel - at a better time. Throwing stuff out there when drunk and then attempting to go to sleep will make him go a bit wtf? I like that he didn't let that go when you threw that out there.

I don’t think you’ve ruined it by any stretch of the imagination but, your timing wasn’t the best, for such a weird conversation.

He’s text you, acknowledging you’d dwell on it, I think he’s done all the right things. Good luck, don’t overthink & life is too short to sweat the small stuff

Why isn't it obvious that he cares about you?

I do think think you've ruined it, I think it's a bit shady to say you don't think it's obvious he cares about you then go to leave it there.

If he has one of the most important meetings of his life I think it was probably more that that kept him up, you being bothy probably didn't help but I doubt it was the whole reason.

*bitchy not bothy