Anyone’s husband/partner work away in the week

[UKrider]

This is us - married a couple of years, have a little baby. He’s in the middle of a big career change. Doing well. Part of this is a work placement for about 3 months. It’s going to be a couple of hours away so the plan is for him to go Sunday night and back Friday night. He’s booked himself a cheapy air BnB a room in a house share right next to the offices.
I’d like to hear from anyone who’s done this and how it made a difference to them - good/bad or any tips to help.

I'm the one in our relationship who works away in London while dw looks after our house about four hours away.

Not having children and the fact we started as a (very/international) LDR helps - in that we've dealt with distance/separation before.

If I had to advise, I would say it's important for you to have some childcare help so that you get some time off in the week. Your dh should also look into what support his employer gives for flexible working. I work on the train down to London on a Monday morning and back on a Friday afternoon. If I have to go down on a Sunday night it feels like a significant chunk out of the weekend and I certainly wouldn't want to miss Sunday night every week.

Keeping in touch during the week is also important - we use Skype messenger (because we always have), but I imagine WhatsApp would be the choice of most now - and phone at least a couple of times in the week. Finding the odd long weekend out of holiday also helps.

Finally the other important thing has to be full attention at the weekend. Your dh may need to have any outside interests take a break / move to weeknights during the period he is working away.

My husband works away during the week, has done so for years so we're used to it. He hates it, 'phones me for long periods every evening and longs for his days off. I quite like being on my own and sometimes find it difficult having him at home - though I love him.

It's just how it is, we have to make the best of it. Won't last forever.

Thank you both very much. In my single and dating this years this arrangement would have been ideal. Now times have changed and I’m a bit worried. Thank you for taking time to reply.

My husband works away, on an oil rig, so 3 weeks away at a time.
He’s always done it so don’t know any different really, the kids certainly don’t.
The only issue I have is that we don’t live near family so I have no one to rely on, which has resulted in my career stalling since having the kids. I just can’t commit to weekend and evening work, and I got so so stressed if the kids were ill as I hated letting work down. So I’m a sham, which is great when dh is here as we have loads of time together to do hobbies (same interests) when the kids are in school.

Thanks for replying too. He’s worked away before for long stints but that was before we were married and we coped then. I can see why you’d find it hard to work with this set up. All things to consider.

We did this as my dh couldn’t find work locally and it was a choice between working away or career change. He worked away for about 16 months, it was really tough on the dcs (12 and 4) at first and I used to hate Sunday’s as he would travel back up to work on Sunday afternoon and come back home Friday night.
We knew it wouldn’t be forever and we made it work, we Skyped every morning when we got up and every night before the dcs went to bed. He managed to find work in our city in the end.

I’m glad it worked out well for you. Our baby is only little so I’m sure he’ll miss him a bit in the week I don’t think it’ll be too bad.

uk my dc found it hardest between the ages of 3 & 5. 8yr old still has wobbles occasionally when dh leaves, but generally he’s okay when dh has gone.
4yr old gets upset during the 3 weeks he’s away but she understands why he’s gone and that he will be back.
I Think i struggle the most, not from missing dh (although I do) but just having no one to fall back on with chores/childcare/day to day stuff etc