Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

my friend has given his girlfriend 40k

17 replies

CatStacks · 28/03/2018 21:02

he has put in 40k and she 15k to open a business which he and her have agreed to go 50/50 on profit
the money is in her account.

he grew up with her th broke up because he had a kid with someone else I made another thread on here about her hitting him and not being able to get over his past ext
the relationship is toxic but he thinks his money is safe with her bevause she knows his whole family and he her and "they were meant to be together"

do any of you have horror stories involving money and partners I can show him? he thinks the sun shines out of her backside

he is a very weak and trusting man he has never had anyone strong around him or who isn't trying to use him which is why I have a soft spot for him he is such a lovely person I care about him deeply.

OP posts:

BattleaxeGalactica · 28/03/2018 21:05

He is an adult making his own decisions.

I think you have to back off and be there when if it doesn't end well.

Ryder63 · 28/03/2018 21:08

I agree with Battleaxe back off, and just be there with a hand hold when/if it all goes tits up.

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 28/03/2018 21:10

He didn’t give her 40k. A half share of 55k equity in the business is 27.5k. He gave her 12.5k.

Cricrichan · 28/03/2018 21:11

Erm they broke up.because he had a kid with someone else?

And tell us more about the business. Whose idea is it and who's going to 've doing the work? What was the £55k used for and who has access to the company bank account etc?

HollowTalk · 28/03/2018 21:12

I would tell him that they both have to protect themselves - not just him - and should get something drawn up by a lawyer. You can tell him it's in case he dies or something - who will own it then? He's absolutely crazy if he doesn't see a lawyer, but in the end he'll be the one to suffer if it goes tits up and he isn't protected.

Forevertired19 · 28/03/2018 21:14

With all due respect, it's none of your business.

Original poster

CatStacks · 28/03/2018 21:14

she's the only one with access to the money they haven't come up with a business plan just ideas and talking about it.
I know it isn't my place I just feel this is going to go badly and he is vunerable and suicidal

OP posts:

Original poster

CatStacks · 28/03/2018 21:15

he is bi polar, depressed. He doesn't think straight and has these crazy ideas this is why I am so protective over him.

OP posts:

Ryder63 · 28/03/2018 21:19

Ah! this may come under financial abuse if he's diagnosed with MH problems.

RoryHatesCoffee · 28/03/2018 21:22

You sound overly invested in him...

Cricrichan · 28/03/2018 21:35

So how has he given her the £40k and why if all they have is ideas? What's the money going toto be used for? What has he told you and why?

BettyBaggins · 28/03/2018 21:39

Big unwise spends can be something some bi-polar people can do. I found this www.lawsociety.org.uk/support-services/advice/practice-notes/financial-abuse/

SandyY2K · 28/03/2018 21:40

I'd say he needs to see a solicitor to draw up some form of contract...but it doesn't sound like he'll do that...because he's too trusting... too foolish.

It makes sense to protect ones assets. If he's come through life so far without realising this...I'm not sure you can help.

If you knew his family closely...You could speak to them...but failing that...maybe he'll learn when (if) it all goes belly up.

CocoPuffsInGodMode · 28/03/2018 21:48

Erm, are you quite sure you know the full facts here? I noticed your user name because I'd actually just been reading another thread you'd started, you seem to have quite a few friends in toxic relationships! You may be right or you may be putting two and two together and coming up with five so it might be best to leave them to it.

Babyblues052 · 28/03/2018 22:17

You made another thread about the same people? Why are you this invested in this mans relationship?

If you were a genuine friend I don't think youd be looking for horror stories from strangers to show him. You're trying to get him to do what you think he should.

My advice is, advise him you feel like it might not be wise and suggest he speak to someone official to protect himself (draw up contract ect) then back off! Don't try and scare him into doing what you want him to do.

Angelf1sh · 29/03/2018 06:14

Just tell him to get a legal agreement drawn up and leave it at that. As long as he is managing his condition so that he’s capable of making informed decisions, then it’s his choice what he does with his money.

RainyApril · 29/03/2018 08:00

I think it's nice that you're worrying about your vulnerable friend, and I expect you wanted stories of good friendships going wrong after starting businesses together so you could show him that it's important for him to protect himself.

I don't understand the comments about you trying to make him do what you think he should do, when all you want him to do is protect himself financially and legally.

And he has given her £40k if it's now sitting in her bank account, that he can't access, with no verification that she's contributed anything at all, and no clear business plan.

But op, he is an adult and is allowed to make his own decisions however unwise.
If you criticise her, him or their potential business too heavily then I suspect you'll lose any good influence you may currently have.

I would focus on being kind about his friend and broadly positive about the business while suggesting that they each hold onto their own money, or invest it in a joint account, until they have a clear business idea. As pp have said, guide him towards proper legal advice and a contract that protects them both.

Beyond that you have to stay out of it, and be there when it goes wrong.

Flip