Does marriage counselling work?

[user1498320065]

NC'd for this as he knows everything!
Married 9 years, 2 DC age 10 & 6.
I feel he's a friend. He picks me up on everything I do so feel I have no personality anymore.
We are both competitive so we argue "you read a book last night" etc. Very petty but it despises me.

I have my own finances & could manage on own.

Does counselling work?

Guess it depends on what you hope to get out of it and the type of counselling you choose. Some people go through it and seperate as a result but may argue it worked because it was what they needed.what do you expect the sessions will do

It worked for me in that it made my decision to leave final.

We found it very helpful in working through why we were arguing and how to improve things. Depends how much you want to be together really.

I think it can work if you are both decent people with a bit of a personality clash but willing to make changes as you want the relationship to work. If one partner is abusive it definitely doesn't work because they have no intention of real improvement and they can often manipulate the therapist.

Only if you are both invested in it

It worked for dh and me following his EA. Our councillor warned us that counciling after an affair was like gluing a vase back together. Up close, you will still see the cracks.