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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wanting to end my marriage

3 replies

Sringtimebirdsong · 28/03/2018 10:29

Hi, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm a young mum of two and I've been wanting to leave my husband for a few years now. We got married at 18, and over the years, I've matured, but he remains in the mindset of a teenager. In fact, he's become very nasty. He isn't physically abusive, but he talks down to me, swears at me (and our boys) he throws things, slams doors, punches walls and generally has an anger problem. After seeking advice from others, it's clear that he actually misogynistic, a narcissist and has an alcohol problem. He rings me multiple times in the day to check up on me, and gets verbally abusive if I don't answer him. I've tried to talk to him about this, he promises to change, but he doesn't. I've given him so many chances to change, but I realise now he never will. I want to end my marriage but there's two things holding me back: I'm completely financially dependent on his income, and I don't want to cause my two little boys heartache. I am really quite unhappy. I worry about the negative impact it will have on my little boys if I leave my husband. But at the same time, I really worry about what they are seeing and hearing. I will not argue in front of the kids, by my OH will carry on and on until I just agree and apologise to stop the abuse.
I feel like I'm stuck.

OP posts:
DamagedUnicorn · 28/03/2018 10:35

Sorry to hear your going through this Thanks

Your doing the right thing, your sons will be upset of course because you are his parents but their father isn't setting a good example for them. They will understand when they get older.

People may offer more advice about your financial situation than i can. Try to stay strong for your boys

numptynuts · 28/03/2018 10:39

You will absolutely being doing the right thing for your children and yourself by leaving this toxic relationship as soon as humanly possible.

JaneEyre70 · 28/03/2018 10:43

He will have to financially support you, and you will manage. In fact you will thrive not living under his microscope and so will your DCs. Can you try and save any messages or voice mails that are abusive, or start keeping a diary (well hidden) to record his abuse to you? And if you have family or friends that will help you, get away. If he's already behaving like this, he won't take your leaving easy. And please phone Women's Aid to get some proper advice.

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