People who have gone no contact with success

[PenelopeLane]

I wondered whether anyone had any success stories, and how long it took? Either to move on from a person, or re-set a relationship.

My only success was years ago and it took about 3 months to forget about him. This was after many failures though and it was a total no contact period - never seeing each other ever etc.

I've had more failures in other relationships though.

Watching with interest. Got dumped 32 days ago and been NC ever since (hence counting the days). I love him and would love to work it out, so may contact him soon to see where I stand. Would be interested if it has worked for others.

I tried to end it with my ex many times but let's just say he was a persistent twat who wouldn't take no for an answer. He would say all the right things so I always caved but nothing really changed.
Eventually I had an enforced nc due to having to get a restraining order against him so a bit different but tbh it was the only thing that helped and now I would swear by nc. It's hard, it hurts but it's the only thing that works. If you have got to the point of nc being the best option then the relationship has probably reached the end anyway and it really forces you to move on. It allows the fog to clear. A clean break (or limited specific only access in the case where kids are involved) is the only way .
It allows you mind space and to gather up the pieces that staying in contact denies you.

If you're going NC with the intention of getting the person back I'd say you're on a hiding to nothing. NC is for you, it's not a wake up tool for them. As for getting over someone, it will work, eventually, depending on a lot of factors.

Getting to actual indifference, I would guess at around half the length of the relationship. Getting to the point where you still have emotions about them but it's in no way a detriment to your life, probably around a tenth the length of the relationship.

I've done it, it worked, it was incredibly hard but got easier. We were together a long time from being 17 and our lives were intertwined in every way. (no children though) The gaps between thinking about her got longer and longer so now it's perhaps once a month and with hardly any emotion attached unless I dwell on it.

Infinitely happier now though than when we were together, we weren't right and she was right to end it. Just would have preferred the method to not be quite so destructive to our lives at the time, that's the bit I'll never forgive or get over properly, the scars run too deep. Sorry to drip feed but I don't really fancy sharing.

Keep it up and at some point the rose tinted spectacles will come off, you'll be able to evaluate the relationship with a clear head and perhaps it wasn't all you think it was. That's certainly what I found happened to me.

Well said Bujinkhal - very encouraging. You touched a very vital point also: NC is for you, it's not a wake up tool for them