I've finally realised just how emotionally abusive and controlling my OH. I've stayed for many reasons, partly because financially I'm screwed but also I'm worried about him having them without me there.
I've finally made the step to talk to someone from the health visiting team about what started off as my concern for my children over something he does as a punishment but then ended up with everything coming out. She said a health visitor will be calling me to help but they haven't yet. I don't know if they're busy, it's been forgotten or maybe things aren't as bad as I think so it's not a priority for them.
The punishment is something I can't discuss as its too outing but it's more emotional abuse than physical. I popped out for an hour the other day and came back and he had done it again because she wouldn't do what he said. I had a go and basically he told me that if I don't want him doing it then I can't leave the house as I need to be there to stop it and not leave them.
Would that go in my favour for not letting him have them unsupervised? I can't bare the thought of him having weekend access as it escalates so quickly. I wouldn't have left them for the hour then but everyone was in a good mood so I thought it would be ok. I won't leave when he's in a bad mood or one of the children are being difficult because I know how it could end up. Everyone tells me how lucky I am and what a great dad he is but no one sees the other side. I can't see why anyone would believe how he can be to support me with it all. When he's ok he's great with them and that's all that people see.
There's loads more than goes on but after 5 years this would be a very long thread. I'm not drip feeding, just can't put everything.