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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I an unreasonable cowbag?

3 replies

midnightiswherethedaybegins · 27/03/2018 22:24

I'm not really sure where to start. I'm really fed up of being with my husband and to be honest I'm not sure whether this is a genuine problem with him or a problem with me. I have been suffering from depression for some years. I have recently started taking Antidepressants and this has improved my attitude somewhat towards him. However, I am concerned that this medication is merely masking an inherent problem within our relationship. We have one child, a little boy who has a rare genetic condition meaning that he is learning impaired and also has a physical disability. I feel as if I'm a single mother as everything that our son needs seems to focus on me. Unless I'm physically not here, I always end up doing the bedtime routine. This really grates on me and makes me feel as though my husband doesn't want to take a full part in his life. I am always the person who will think of activities to do in our time off with our son. Again, this makes me feel like I'm the only person who is really bothered. My husband never makes me laugh, never cooks a meal for us and I am having to support him financially because although he works, he doesn't earn enough to allow was to do everything 50-50. Again this create some level of resentment and me. He does earn extra money though by gigging. However I end up resenting this because this allows him to have down time away from us doing something that he really loves. I get very little downtime and I can't asked family to help any more than they do because I work full time and my parents look after my toddler in the week. I am just finding everything so bleak and dissatisfying. I want to crawl into a hole and hide.

OP posts:
Pomegranatemolasses · 27/03/2018 23:42

This sounds so grim for you. Having a child with SN can put a huge strain on a relationship. Having said that, your DH sounds like he's falling far short of the mark. Have you thought about what life would be like if you separated? Is your depression reactive?

midnightiswherethedaybegins · 27/03/2018 23:49

Yes, grim is the word. And lonely. And like feeling as though life is passing me and my son by.

OP posts:
ChickenMom · 28/03/2018 09:55

I don’t blame you for feeling that way. If you separated would you be better off financially? He’d then have to step up and see his son without you around so you’d get a break

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