Is this mid-age crisis, or ..?

[Karmelita]

We've been together with DH for almost 20 years. Been through a lot together. Things were good, then they were not so good, then... last month DH told me, he had only lived with me for the last 6 (!!) years for the sake of our child. He has been putting up with me for all this time.
Now that the child's grown up (seven), DH says, and doesn't need him anymore (his own words!) DH is - I quote - ready for the new life. He wants - I quote - to meet a gorgeous woman he could lavish with jewels and expensive presents. A woman whose sexual drive is equal to his own and who would be always craving for more.
All right. I can understand the sex thing. After all, I may have been too demanding in terms of attention and quality time spent together instead of just jumping on him right after he's back from work.
But - six years of lies and pretence? Honestly, I don't know what to feel about this... revelation.
Sadly, I feel I still have feelings for him... Otherwise, it wouldn't hurt so much.

6 years is probably bollocks, he's just saying whatever comes into his head.

I reckon he's probably got OW already or someone in mind.

Hope he is very rich or immensely good looking or he’s toast in that market!!

Fine, sit down and have him do the math. His son needs food, adequate shelter, and a sports package to make up for the lack of his father. Maybe even improved schooling options.
You will require half his pension.

He's rewriting history because he's feeling guilty about something he's about to do, or he's already done.

i think you're right. nature operates in shortest ways possible. well, sadly and curiously, OW is something i think i can digest...

Jeez OP. Thats very harsh, unkind and unfeeling. And disrespectful of your 20 year relationship. I sometimes wonder what men expect when they are bringing small children into the world - then its all this what about me? I have needs and sexual desires that need to be met! And after 7 years he thinks his work is done! Thats not a father thats a temporary assignment.

He has checked out - he's decided that the grass is greener and there is probably very little you can do except get hard and cold strong and make sure you get what you deserve. First, go and see a lawyer and get some solid advice.

Second, make sure whatever happens the needs and interests of your child come first - they should never be used as weapons, they need to be loved and wrapped up in kindness and care.

Third, get lots of support for you from friends and family. and be very, very kind to yourself.

You deserved better. Than this weak and empty man.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock, thank you for this comment. I guess this is what I should be doing now, math.

Tell him good luck with the craving for more!! Op ... what a nasty piece of work, was he pissed!!

Bouledeneige, thank you for your words of support and sound advice. I am much more focused now than I was a month ago, but not yet fully recovered. I'll muddle through, somehow...

even if he doesn't mention it again, take inventory of the family assets.

Wow...he really said that? Is he rich? James Bond? Not sure where he thinks all the money for all the jewels is coming from when he has a child to support. Think he loves himself a bit too much. You deserve better than this nonsense. Make him eat his words. Tell him to leave.

Mid life crisis is an excuse to behave like an arse.
My ex met a woman from abroad and told our dd (8) that he would like to spent as much time as he could with her in the next 12 months as he was then moving away, and would never see her again.
They eventually split up and he ruined any relationship he could have had with my dd.
Last I heard he was living a very miserable life.
Good luck op x

Wow what a git I hope is rich enough to fulfill his fantasy and pay cm etc. Did I read correctly your dc is only 7 hardly grown up.

There's someone he wants or who he is already with.
He is re-writing history - all cheaters do it.
It's not you, it's HIM.
I'd help him pack and kick him out and wish him luck with his quest.
Do not do the 'pick me' dance.
Get him gone and get on with your life.
It will be hard to start with but you'll soon see that you don't need this inadequate cock of a 'man'!!
Do some homework. How much does he earn? What would you be owed in maintenance.
What's his pension like?
Do you rent or do you have a mortgage?
Is it together.
Make a list of all assets.
Get all important paperwork together.
You need your marriage certificate for a divorce.
Not that it will come to that but I've no idea how you would get past what he's said.
You deserve better than this asshole!

He's already shagging a woman who is pretending to be permanently 'up for more' so as to entice the promised jewels and expensive presents out of him. Once she's realised he's actually mean as fuck, she'll drop the act and he'll be out in the cold.

Bet you.

ChickenMom, not exactly rich, no, but well-off. A highly-paid professional, he has grown to be. But he tends to overplay it and thinks he's as rich as Midas.

hellsbellsmelons, thank you. When asked about the application for a divorce, he said he "has not yet had the time to think about it". Obviously, it caught him by surprise that the whole divorce process won't be as easy as falling of a log.

What a bellend! I would be very matter of fact, like pps have said. Sort out the financials. He seems to be living in a fantasy bubble, probably shagging someone who has turned his head.

😂😂what a prick!! He can't be serious!! He actually said that to you?

Very hurtful but he sounds like an absolute bell end. Let him go and see how his dreams turn out!!

Tell him you've been wanting a real man in the bedroom and for the last 6 years he's just not cut it, so you've not been feeling it with him

BigSandyBalls2015, sadly, yes. The gorgeous woman thing and all other bullshit about the last N years being "a huge mistake".