Husband doesn't want another baby but I do

[Frankie90]

So where do I start. I got with my husband 6 years ago. At the time he had a 2 year old who came to stay every weekend. I have always treated her like my own. I made it clear to my husband from the start that I wanted 2-3 children of my own too and he said he would have 2 and we would see about a 3rd!
We were together 15 months and I got pregnant. It was instigated more by my husband who was desperate to have a son and a child at home. We did have a son who is now 4. In an ideal world I would of liked a second child a couple of years later but there is no way we could afford 2 kids in nursery. Also I had always wanted to be married really before I had kids so we used our savings for this and married 15 months ago.
Recently I have been getting more broody and envious of people getting pregnant. I Noticed my husband was making excuses up to not get intimate and has been avoiding it so I tackled him and he has now said I don't want any more kids.
I'm completely confused we were trying only before our wedding again it was instigated by my husband.
I have asked his reasons and he has said he just realised he didnt want another as he is feeling too old and doesnt want to start again with sleepless nights etc. We are 35! I am gutted I feel really cheated.
I feel like I have to go along with what he wants as otherwise I will stand to lose too much - our marriage, family, house and our son won't have a dad living at home. I cried for days and am still really raw. He can't understand and is hurt I don't feel the famiky we have is enough. But it isnt that! Any one else going through or been through this?

Similar, but not the same. Been with DP 11 years, we never planned for kids but decided we did want to (my idea but she was enthusiastic). We now have a 3yo and I would absolutely have another one or even two but she wants to stop at one.

In practical terms I can totally see her view, but my ovaries aren't listening. We'd need fertility treatment again though so it's not a decision that is capable of being left to chance, so it probably won't happen and I just need to get over it.

Different to your situation because the number we initially planned for was 0 so I can hardly complain that she changed her mind!

I went through this recently - about October time, DH finally acknowledged that ‘maybe later’ meant never. I cried for ages too and I do think it will always be with me. I’m really close to my brother and the thought of DD not having a sibling is heartbreaking to me (even though I know from my working life lots of siblings who hate each other).

We had a hard time after DD was born and DH’s health and work life isn’t great. So I do understand his reasons - I think others have it a lot worse and still have more kids but I do understand. He’s generally such an easy going person that I know it was hard for him to definitely say no.

Oddly what helped was seriously thinking about all my choices. Once I realised that I could leave him or trick him but that I wasn’t prepared to - then I was able to frame it as choosing him rather than having him take something from me and DD (which is unfair as no-one should feel obliged to have kids but is how it felt). Your mileage may vary of course.

It still stings and perhaps always will but I’m not crying anymore. I was really honest with DH about how it hurt me and how I was probably always going to struggle when friends have their second and third etc etc. The only way we got through it was by having that honesty.

Im feeling the same.. crying on a daily basis several times...can not copy with the fact he does not want another one. I avoid having sex since than ..I know it is is unfair on him but it is like cutting open a fresh wound...😢😢I need a consultant otherwise I end up hating him forever...