Meeting my partners ex from a long while ago.

[fuddle]

Hi my partner of four months has suggested that we might go to Switzerland to run a marathon there. His ex from a very long time ago well over thirty years has invited him and me to stay. I've suggested a similar thing. I'm sitting on the fence on this one. I know my boyfriend loves me but I thought I would ask you mums netters how you would possibly feel. I'd think he would find it strange meeting and staying with an ex he hasn't seen for years. So this is just a bit of fun what do you think.

Agreed, book an Air bnb, do not stay with the ex.

I wouldn't but I know some would. You'll get mixed views here OP.
Go with your gut.
How do you feel about it?

Tbh I wouldnt want to stay at anyones house that DP knew but I didnt. Awkward. But especially an ex. Nah!

If your partner says they are nice people: why not? Would you trust him in it? you might make new friend. Keep it short and book an extra night away for you two alone. Have fun.

When you say you’ve suggested a similar thing - what do you mean?

No. You've been together 4 months. You hardly know him, nevermind her.
I'd stay somewhere neutral.

No definitely not. An odd suggestion by all accounts. The first time you'll be going away together and you'll be staying with your partners ex.

I have a friend in America who I've known for years we spent one night together but didn't go out with each other mostly just good friends though! I suggested meeting him and I'd explained the situation and he was happy to visit him. However I feel that it's different as he actually lived with this woman for two years. I said I think it would be awkward all round as you can imagine them talking about old times!! It makes me sound hypocritical though doesn't it? I don't think I'd stay, there meeting an ex but staying with her is another thing. Thanks for your replies. I don't think most women would want to do this.

An ex from over 30 years ago wouldn’t bother me.

Meeting up for a coffee is a bit different to staying for a night or two. Like I said, personally I dont like staying at other peoples houses. It's not relaxing.

Also, TMI, but I would especially not like to stay over at someones house the day before a race. No matter how calm I seem, my gut is never calm! I would be too embarrassed to be shitting water at some strangers house in the morning. Just a consideration...

I'm a firm believer in an ex is an ex for a reason and especially after all that time.
I think it's a positive that they have remained friends, IME men that have unresolved feelings for ex's or personal issues are usually bitter about past loves.
I have built friendships with a partners ex before (mainly because there were children involved) but also because she was a nice person and we had a lot in common. Likewise my ex husband and I remain friends. We speak once every few months, have met for catch up coffees and I speak to his family at Christmas and birthdays etc. We were all a big part of Each others lives and we split on good terms (It just didn't work) both of us has moved on emotionally so there's no issue with it.
I would go but stay in a hotel to save any awkwardness and ensure the two of you have your personal space/time in a neutral place.

From 30 years ago? I wouldn’t think twice!
Unless he or she has suggested a threesome.