4 months ago, i found out that my husband who i have been married to for 25 years and i deeply loved had cheated on me with 8 women. We got married at the age of 21, and had a 7 month old baby girl. We were happy , found it very tough financially at the start but apart from that we were happy.
My husband got promotion in 1998 and commuted daily 50 miles to his new work. Within a year of moving to this job, he started what i class an affair with a woman who was married with a daughter who was 2 years older than him. They met in the car for 15 minutes after work in the evenings for 2 weeks, and on the third week he went to the house and bed that she and her husband shared and had sex. He states he was so nervous as he had never had sex with anyone but me that it didnt last a minute and he wasnt in the house for 5 minutes total. He said he realised he had made a terrible mistake and told her the next day that he loved his wife and children, at this stage we had a second child aged 3 and that was the end. She rang him a couple of times but he cut contact.
Year later: 2000 he started an affair with another work colleague where they had sex in the evenings 5 times over a 2 week period. He states after the 2 weeks he ended it stating that it was wrong, he loved his wife and wanted no more. The woman was very upset and never spoke to him again. I have spoken to both these 2 women and they deny all.
I know none of this, didnt suspect a thing, he told me he adored me every day and didnt notice any emails, calls or texts.
He left this job in 2003 and got a local job that was more senior and paid more. I had had a third child by then and all was good.
2006 a 19 year old girl asked him for a job transfer, he started messaging her by email and asked her out for lunch. They went round to a rental house we own, but before they actually had the sex somebody knocked on the door, they were interrupted and went back to work. He never spoke or messaged her again.
Autumn 2007, we were renting another house we own to a lithuanian family, he said she kept giving him the eye, so one day at lunch he called in for the rent, with a condom i may add in his wallet and they had sex. He again never looked at her again, just called for the rent in the evening when her husband was home.
December 2007, he went to his christmas party and danced with a 25 year old girl. the following week he emailed her asking her did she enjoy the night, and by the end of the day had emailed her asking would she like some fun with no strings attached. that evening on his way home from work he called round to the house and had sex with her. She said, i spoke to her and her story mirrored his, it was the most disgusing degrading experience she ever had. she said like the first woman he wasnt in the house 5 minutes, didnt kiss her, just had sex for a minute, kissed her on the cheek and said i better go. He never contacted her again.
October 2010 was out on a leaving do for work, a 21 year old girl came up and spoke to him outside a pub, both flirted and he ended up doing a sexual act in the car park. The following Monday at work, he emailed her asking her was she up for some fun with no strings. She rang him that evening, met him in a lay by for sex on his way to pick our son up from football. He said the sex was terrible as she was too broad, he drives a sports car. She told him she had had a previous affair with a married man, 10 years older than his, she loved the buzz and only stopped when the wife found out and confronted her. He never looked at her again.
February 2011 went with 2 prostitutes on holiday.
As you can imagine, i am utterly devastated. I cannot understand how you could do this when you love someone. We went to counselling but stopped as i was looking for a big answer as to why he did it that wasnt there. He said he did it for sex, he loved sex and didnt get enough at home. Over the past 7 years as our kids were older and spend more time together, he has not been tempted. I cant stop thinking about it, i love him but i also hate him. He is not the man i thought i was married too.. I am devastated...