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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He's got a drink problem!

6 replies

MinnieMouse7 · 26/03/2018 12:37

I posted the other day wondering if I was having anxiety about a new relationship with a guy I met online. Long and short is that I made it clear I wasn't sure if I was ready for a new relationship but was happy to take things slow and see how it went.

After meeting him again yesterday I had decided to say that I don't think I could continue seeing him in a romantic way. He knew I was making no promises but he said some hurtful things to me. I'm gutted because despite this I thought he was the loveliest person I'd ever known.

He admits to me today that every Sunday when he takes his child home, he goes to the pub and can't stop drinking. As a result he gets paranoid and overthinks which is why he was horrible last night. Prior to this I had noticed he was a bit strange on a Sunday night.

I've said I wish he'd told me in the beginning as it would have been a deal breaker anyway. Now I've offered to be there for him as a friend to support him get the help he needs.

Is this the right thing to do? I feel sorry for him now

OP posts:
SnowiestMountain · 26/03/2018 12:38

I'd just cut all ties if I were you OP.

AnyFucker · 26/03/2018 12:42

Don't be a bloody fool

Isetan · 26/03/2018 13:19

Hell no! It should still be a deal breaker. If you are crazy enough to stay in contact with this man his behaviour will be the same but because he's told you the 'reason', you'd be expected to put up with it.

Run, don't walk.

MinnieMouse7 · 26/03/2018 13:50

How do I retract my offer without making him feel worse? Didn't expect to be in this situation. Another part of me feels he is saying it just because of what I said, just to get me to feel sorry for him.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/03/2018 15:03

Well it worked didn't it ?

You don't need to make a big announcement you are "withdrawing your offer"

Just fade away. Get on with your own life. He will bring you down.

Kittykat93 · 26/03/2018 15:26

Don't try and be 'friends' with this guy. Just don't contact him again

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