Feel like DH's manager at home

[childmindingmumof3]

And we are both fed up with it!
I end up checking and redoing his 'work', or asking him to do it. Obviously this annoys him but I am also annoyed he doesn't just do it/do it right the first time!
And because I expect things not to be done properly I check up on everything making him feel micromanaged - for example he gave the baby half a jar of food yesterday and told me the rest was in the fridge. I then check whether he heated the whole jar, whether he fed it from the jar or from a bowl just to be sure whether it's usable for tomorrow (which it was) - he's clearly annoyed to be questioned.
But he often doesn't check dates, uses old food etc and I don't want to risk kids being sick.

Do I need to just let things go? I feel like I can't with some things like food hygiene, eczema cream for dc, children in clean clothes. And if he doesn't do cleaning jobs properly then it's more work for me.

I think this is what you are talking about

www.workingmother.com/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear

Fingerling - my point is I don't want to have to say please wash their hair, please clean the highchair, please move the litter tray don't just mop around it. I don't know if just promoting my 8 year old to deputy manager really solves it.

dame - I know exactly what you mean.

I get that OP, but I was suggesting over-stating it (and using the 8 year old to help) and then you can point out to your DH what you are doing and can he start to do it without you asking. My point was also to address your feelings about having to challenge, check and correct him, not just tell him. I also agree with sharing the mental load cartoon with him.

Op, I do n’t think the children will suffer, you just have different standards, you should not expect your husband to do everything in your time scale to your standard. Let it go and enjoy your life.

Northern, how often do your children get baths, clean bedding, see a dentist, eat out of date food, eat vegetables, have their nails cut?

I totally get the mental load issue.

Dh has improved over the years, but only because of lots of discussions and seeing me implode. However his mental load is still much smaller than mine.

Like others have said. Routine has helped him take charge of things but I am still the manager when it comes to the kids.

What upsets me most is that the children are picking up on it.. The girls are taking charge helping me and I can rely on them, especially my eldest dd1 (who.is a teen) whilst the boys need to be asked all the time and it's not a great example.