It was DD birthday last week and she was asking about details of her birth, day, time , how long she stayed in hospital etc
This has stirred up something in me and I feel quite angry about what happened surrounding her birth with my OH . I am having difficulty gauging whether I was right to feel uneasy at the time but made to feel that I was making a deal of nothing .
When my waters broke there was meconium in them . At the hospital they started my contractions . I was on a canister of gas and air , when this ran out I asked my OH to go tell the staff , my OH said to wait until the staff came back in the room, I had to beg my OH to go and tell them as I was in a lot of pain. As the night went on I started to feel very unwell . After the delivery of my DD , OH was put out that I was offered tea and toast and he was not offered anything ( he still goes on about this to this day , in a jokey manner but it really grates on me ).
After the birth I was placed in a ward with 3 other women . By this point I felt very unwell and said to my OH that I didn't feel well . He made no attempt to tell the staff how unwell I felt .
OH took his paternity leave that week . I was still unwell in hospital and by say 3 I was moved into a separate side room . There was no toilet attached to the room so I had to wheel the baby down to a loo in the corridor . Oh only visited a couple of hours in the morning and a couple in the evening . He went to play football as normal on an evening and went drinking afterwards . He also went into town drinking with his workmates . OH used his paternity leave as a week off for himself .
I was allowed home after a week in hospital ( suspected pneumonia never confirmed ). I was still very poorly .
I had a GP appointment booked for the first morning I was home ( this was the last day of OHS paternity leave ). In the morning OH stayed in bed , I got up, got the baby ready and walked to the GPs . The baby would not stop crying and the GP staff were lovely and let me sit in a side room as I was still quite poorly . My GP was cross with the hospital that they had allowed me home and quite cross that my OH had not brought me to the surgery .
OH returned to work after the weekend and carried on going to football and going for works drinks . I was struggling at home , hardly eating , struggling with the baby . Possibly had PND. The midwives came to me for 4 weeks and my HV came to me for 10 weeks .
I feel very angry with my OH as at the time when I asked for his support and asked him to come home on time or miss football to going out after work he made me feel like I was controlling him .
I have always looked back on this and felt uncomfortable about it but since last week I feel so angry about how my OH treated me , made me feel I was asking for too much .
I feel angry that he gave everyone the impression that he was a supportive OH and a hands on dad when in actual fact , he put his own needs ahead of ours .
Am I justified to feel angry about the situation ?