Is my Marriage over?

[FairgroundMum]

Please be gentle as I haven't posted before. But I just have no idea what to do.
My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 3. We have 2 DC both 3.

To try and cut a long story short, at the very beginning of our relationship he went to a strip club and had a private dance. I explained then, that I wasn't the type of girlfriend that was ok with strip clubs. He didn't know, so not his fault. But explained that it makes me feel like shit and if he wanted to do that then I was not the girl for him! He gave me all his assurances, that he would never step foot in a strip club again.

Can you see where this is going?

Fast forward, and he has probably been to a strip club at least 8 times (that I know of) lied about it each time, because his words... 'He knew it would hurt me'. But I found out anyway.
One visit being when I was heavily pregnant with his twins.

But after a massive argument every time, I forgave him. and he told me he would never do it again as he knows how it makes me feel etc etc.

And this is where we are at now. The last time he did it was about a year ago. and I just cannot forgive him. I have given him no false hope, I have explained to him that things will never be the same between us and yet again he is saying all the right things, but it was just 1 too many times! I am happy to live in a 'so-so' marriage, for the children. He has made it perfectly clear he is not, but also doesn't want to be apart from his kids. In fact he just want to know what he can do to make it right. I cant answer that.

Every now and again, we have an argument about the fact he says I am playing mind games and he cant live like this. I am selfish. He thought things were good between us again. I have reached a point where I am just ready to call it!

Am I being totally unreasonable? Should I just suck it up?

I don't really know what I want from you guys, but I am just at the end of my tether and I don't know what to do..

Thanks if you managed to read this all!!

No you're not unreasonable. You made it very clear that you don't want to be with a man who goes to strip clubs. He's lied so you can't trust him and your view of him has been affected too.

It seems to me it doesn't matter if you're being unreasonable or not. This doesn't sound like a happy relationship at all. It feels like you would be better ending it.

Not unreasonable, if you can’t trust him then leave him - this is exactly where I am now - trust has gone so he has to go too. I know it’s not easy but it’s the right thing to do for you.

You sound unhappy in the relationship and it sounds like the relationship has broken down due to lost of trust in him. Totally his fault and you're not unreasonable to finish the relationship. It will be difficult if that's what you choose especially with children but they will pick up on the relationship of mummy and daddy before too long.

He doesn't respect your wishes and (understandably) you don't trust him. You've given him lots of chances as well. It's up to you but I wouldn't stay in that situation.

Fast forward, and he has probably been to a strip club at least 8 times (that I know of) lied about it each time, because his words... 'He knew it would hurt me'. But I found out anyway.
One visit being when I was heavily pregnant with his twins.

I am sorry but I would actually find him repugnant, 8 TIMES with family money and two small kids of 3 years! No way OP, I think you've actually been too cool about it all, these places charge a fortune and to think he's having private dances whilst you're sitting pregnant at home, just no, absolutely vile, I couldn't be with a man that had such little regard for my feelings and also thought women were there to be bought, it would kill any trust I had in him, if he can do that, what else is he capable of. I do agree with him though, I'd not stay in a relationship with him for face sake, or for my kids sake. You need to be happy.

He won't change. You have made it clear that it's not acceptable to you. You know what to do.