Not sure if this is the right place to post in but I feel very lonely and like my life is spiralling out of control. My husband is addicted to opiate based painkillers. He manages to get them from his GP due to an injury and swears blind that he needs them, but I know he is taking them to get high (other prescribed non-opiate drugs aren't even collected) and has done for years.
He takes far too many at once and when he does his attitude is completely hyper and over the top. All too soon he has run out (usually way before the prescription is ready to be refilled), and turns into an obnoxious horrible person with an awful temper. He will sit staring into space or stay in bed most of the day. This is happening today and I am hiding in my own home as quite frankly it scares me. He has never been physically abusive but for some reason I'm incredibly nervous around him and worry about upsetting him when he's in this state.
We have a 2 year old. As a dad he's fairly useless. Never asks about birthday, Christmas presents etc. I always get them. He doesn't really have much to do with our DC at all. I do everything. I'm really wanting to leave, or for him to leave. I'm so scared of confrontation though. It petrifies me. Even the thought of it has me shaking with adrenaline. I wonder what it would take for me to do anything.
I really want out of this shitty situation but I don't seem able to get the courage to do it. Financially I could just about manage. I sometimes wonder if counselling would get me to a more assertive place. I guess what I'm really wondering if anyone else has been here or can relate. Sorry for the long ramble, my thoughts are a bit jumbled up at the moment. Thank you for reading.