Apologies in advance for the length of my post.
I met my 'first love' (S) nearly 15 years ago, while at uni. Our relationship was brief, but he made a huge impression on me and after our (messy) break-up it took me months and months to get over him. I eventually did though, and with the benefit of hindsight, life experience and (a degree of) maturity, came to realise that we were very different people and would never have lasted the distance.
Now, many years and a few exes later, I am happily settled in a long-term relationship with a lovely dp who is father to my adorable 2 year old. I hadn't thought of S for a very long time, until he randomly popped up in a dream a couple of weeks ago. The dream didn't stir up any romantic feelings for him, but left me feeling a bit weird and wondering what had happened to him/what his life is like now etc. Cue, looking him up on Facebook (I know, I know). The first thing I noticed was that he is now married with a young baby. Rather than any feelings of jealousy, as I think I might have expected to feel, I just felt genuinely glad that he seems happy and has a nice life. Then I noticed that, bizarrely, he is living in the same quite small town as me, over 300 miles away from where we met at uni! That detail has left me feeling quite shaken and now I can't stop thinking about the prospect of bumping into him.
I don't want particularly want to meet him again, I suppose partly because I'm terrified of the feelings it my stir up, but I wouldn't mind having the opportunity to tell him that I'm happy he's happy, and apologise for my part in the way things ended between us. I just wish I could put him out of my mind!