We've been together for about 15 years and like most couples have had our ups and downs. SO has been depressed for more than 4 years, he had 1 session with a counsellor who said she thought he should talk to his GP about medication, but SO doesn't want to take pills and also doesn't think his GP would be understanding. After the session, SO said he didn't think counselling would work and therefore hasn't been back since.
We've tried to talk about how he feels, what the potential causes are, but it quickly dissolves into a very heated argument. He has anger management issues (got violent towards me 2 times), so I back off from further discussion.
He hates his job, feels that everyone is out to 'get him', he has a mixed/declining relationship with his 2 DS's (16 and 18) telling them he's so disappointed they don't communicate with him and not surprisingly among everything else, our relationship is suffering.
He doesn't contribute to running the house, is not appreciative of my efforts to keep things going (I have a full time job with a lot of travel) but run the house (shopping, cleaning, dog walking, laundry, finances), I moved to his country to be with him, I do things for his aging parents, involve his DS's as much as possible, but he thinks I'm a bully and a bitch because I ask him to do things in the house.
SO wants to do a major renovation on the house (£250,000+) and I've refused saying that our relationship isn't in a good place and we need to repair us before moving onto the house. He just goes quiet when I say this.
I'm at my wits end and thinking of throwing the towel in, I just cant see another way out of this stale-mate situation.
Would appreciate input.