Can I find out when they split?

[mollycool]

I really want to know if I was the affair or if he'd genuinely split like I thought

He completely discarded me after months and I feel very used. Listened endlessly to him ramble about his crazy exW and now I've been dumped his behaviour has shown me she very likely wasn't crazy at all

They had a child who was less than a year when we began dating and I didn't really add everything up

Not sure what I would achieve if I contacted her to ask, it's probably best I just leave it isn't it?

If he really was split I will just look very vindictive. Is there any way I can actually find out without contacting her?

No not young. No he wasn't living with his wife, he was living at his mothers (so I believed) and all the driving and phone calls while driving added up with this

I believed the we are split because she is abusive. I can't go back as we are Islamically divorced now and don't want to either. And she is not allowing me to see my kids, been fighting this in court..

We had been friends before anything happened, I did believe him to be genuinely single

What you wanted to believe and the truth are to seperate things either way what does it matter what do you hope to gain by contacting his wife?

Tbh it's probably just out of anger with him. I don't think I will. Just wondered if I could have found out without contacting her.

All the stuff I believed about her from him, I now feel rather sorry for her

I think the detail is unimportant.

It's the difference between being a useless bastard and a utter bastard.

This is true

As others have said the details are unimportant. Knowing wint change it and going by the details youve given the info was there for you to make a different choice from the start. Just chalk it up to experience and dont go down the same path again with someone else

Not really the info I had was they'd split, were legally divorcing, are Islamically divorced and can't ever get back together due to that unless she married and divorced in between, the last child was an accident after they'd split... and he was living with his mother.

The times he called me seemed to match up with what he said, he showed me pics of the kids etc. I don't think he knows I even know her name but I saw it on WhatsApp chats discussing the kids, and she's quite easily googleable from her job.

I don't think she'd really want to know tbh and she's the one with 3 small children left alone by him, so I won't contact her and make it any worse.