My dads girlfriend said he leaves her cold

[Buzzardgizzard]

Hello mumsnet

I am 23 but living with my dad atm. He has had a Spanish girlfriend for the past several months she has been living with us. There is a definite language barrier between them and she is about 10-12 years younger. For the most part they seem to have a good balance financially, lifestyle-wise. He is a secure partner which she obviously likes. He absolutely loves having her around.

Anyway the other day they were in the kitchen doing their usual thing. He was cooking I think and she was maybe cleaning something or helping him or just hanging out idk exactly. That's kind of off the point. They had music playing and she was baby-talking to the fish in the fish tank. I wasn't really listening to hard but as I walked in and out to get some stuff I heard her talking about handsome men and my dad chuckling and then at some point she says to the fish tank "[my dad] leaves me cold"(unsatisfied) hence why she ogles around.

Anyway my dad clearly did not understand her saying this but I did and it made me very uncomfortable. I don't know if I just need to let it go and pretend I never heard it or tell my dad and be the bearer of bad news, making him feel shitty and perhaps hurting their trust.

My gut is telling me not to do that - but what do I do then? She must have known on some level it was at least possible for me to understand her saying that. My Spanish is significantly better than his. So I'm not thrilled with her for getting me involved in this. Don't tell me! I don't want to know facepalm especially in this awkward off-hand manner.

I'm a little bit worried about my dad that she doesn't respect him even though he is always trying to make her happy.

Would greatly appreciate any wisdom!

Tough one really. On balance I would probably tell him but be prepared for kick back

Stay out of it. He's a grown man capable of deciding whether he's happy with her looking at other men. Do you really want a conversation with your dad about his sex life?!

Tell him.

I agree, stay out of it.

I think men care less than women care that their sexual partner is in to them.

The idea of a man having to grit his teeth to sleep with me is so horrendous I just don't really look at fit, healthy, tanned, tall, lean 20 and 30 somethings in taht way anymore because I can only fathom a sexual relationship where the man desires me.

Dare I say it, in my opinion, men care less about this and more about their partner reflecting well on them.

Maybe first ask him IF he'd care if hypothetically a girlfriend didn't find him attractive if all of his friends were impressed that he'd pulled her. See what he says.

He may know perfectly well. Hugh Heffner couldn't have imagined for the last forty odd years that his ''girlfriends'' found him attractive. Did he care?

Sorry, not comparing your Dad to HH, but there is a different way of looking at things.

I wouldn't say anything. Everyone knows there a 'trade'- he's stable and older with more money, she's younger, prettier and possibly ogles other similar to her age men, but likes the stability with your dad. Why would a woman choose a 10/12 year older male unless there were advantages for her than a similar age hot guy? We all make trades- my husband isn't the hottest guy I've ever dated by quite a bit, but he's fantastic intellectually, for example. I would never say that to him, but I also know I'm not the most attractive girl he ever dated too and am not stressed by this either!

I'd leave them to sort out their own relationship, she may well be happy with the trade and happy with your dad, if she's not, he'll find out soon enough. No-one will thank you for poking this particular issue right now.