Nearly 50 and feeling lonely

[hopelessbusiness]

OK first time poster so bear with!
Having a bit of a rough time at the moment with work (another story) and am reappraising life/work - everything really as I'm feeling a bit down (past history of depression so a bit worried about it rearing it's ugly head again.) I realised last night that despite having lived in the SW for nearly 13 years I have no friends down here and no support network, no one to simply meet for a coffee and a chat even. I have lots of friends from where I grew up but that's 250 miles away.
How do people make friends at my age? What do I do? Don't have much free time either - work nearly full time, long journey to/from work and 2 kids to ferry around to places so stuff like evening classes probably wouldn't work. I have a lovely partner (who doesn't live with me) who is supportive but he works silly hours and shifts so I spend a lot of time on my own which isn't good as you then have 'time to think'...
Anybody in the same boat?

Aww hugs are you friends with anyone at work that you would want to hang out with? I don’t have many friends either, I had my daughter quite young and my old school friends don’t have children so we drifted apart.
I only have a couple of friends that I made at my last job so we sometimes meet up for a chat. Apart from that I go to Zumba class once a week at the gym, it’s really fun and puts me in a really good mood.
Also my partner works full time and I am currently looking for work so I am bored and lonely a lot too. X

My situation is different to you in that I live alone, but I'm a similar age to you and am experiencing what feels like a grieving process. It's like a huge evaluation of my life up to this point and a recognition of the things I will never do/have and also facing my mortality.

Not sure if this will resonate for you, but I always think depression is a message that things in your life aren't working well and it might be time to spend some time reflecting on what you really want.

Hi Dido
Yes it does resonate - it's a funny feeling thinking/accepting that some doors are now closed for you.
I think you may be right about the possible reason for depression. I think I need to make lots of changes but I feel too old!

What doors do you think are closed ?

I'm about the same age and have been living quite an isolated life for the past couple of years due to various factors.

The last few months I've been thinking I need to do something about it because it's having severe effect on me. I know I'm moderately depressed and I've got touches of agrophobia. Going to work is fine because it's my comfort zone, but because I rarely go anywhere else when I do I get really anxious about it.

The problem was that if I came up with an idea as to how to change one area of my life, it would impact on others and wouldn't be feasible. This was driving me potty. Then an opportunity came up at work to change my work pattern and I think that might just be the thing to get me out of my rut as there are no negatives about the change, and the only impact means it frees me up to have a bit of a social life. I've already booked various workshops and other activities that will bring me into contact with other people.

So - after all that! - is there any part of your life you could change in any way? If your job is a bit of a commute away, could you look for something nearer? Could you think about taking some extra training so that it gives you more opportunities.

The one thing I've learnt over recent years is that it's never to late to get started on something!

Whereabouts in the SW are you? I'm in Devon.Been here 12 years now. Head and brick wall....

Try meet up.com app . Download it onto your phone. Brilliant for meeting people. Spice app too.

I'm in Cornwall. Not much of a vibrant social scene, hahaha. Devon no better then??

I'm not sure Millie - I guess even though I don't want another child, knowing I'm too old to have one feels a bit weird. Also I know that (unless I win the lottery) there's going to be lots of things I won't have the opportunity to do. I know as I type that these are first-world problems!
I think it's just my job that's getting me down at the moment and making me over-think things. Hopefully I'll pull myself together soon :)

Nope. Not much better in Devon. Grovelling works sometimes but it's tiresome.

Devon and Cornwall are especially depressing in the school holidays when all the 'real' people come down wearing White Stuff and snorting it.