Why do I always think negative???HELP

[Emfxx]

I have a boyfriend, me and him have been together for nearly 9 months now. I have never been very insecure and overly paranoid in the relationship. But for nearly 2 months I have really doubt it hard to think positive. I always think there’s somebody better, and that I’m not good enough, when he goes work he’s going to meet someone better than me and leave me... I am very insecure and it’s ruining our relationship and driving my boyfriend mad. I overthink so much. And I dwell on bad thoughts, I am so afraid that he’ll leave me, find someone else. Even though there’s nothing to make me think that. Just my thoughts. I really need help and I’m too scared to go to the doctor about my overthinking and bad thoughts and depressed moods. It’s not just over the relationship. But of course it’s not affecting anything as bad as it is my relationship. I really need help!!!!

Fount** not doubt. Sorry.

Pretty sure all you can do is just go to the doctor's and ask for help.

Why don't you want to?

I mean - you are free not to, but you should understand that in that case, you're unlikely to ever feel better.

I agree that going to the doctor would be a great first step if you’re aware you’re suffering with depression.

If you choose not to go down this route then I think you need to start focusing on your own self esteem and really working on building it up. Do activities you enjoy that make you feel a sense of achievement, yoga class, the gym, running, painting, whatever makes you feel good. At first you might have to force yourself to do these things, but it’ll be worth it - exercise particularly will help with depression and release endorphins.

Go and see your friends, spend time on self care, have a nice day trip with friends or family, focus on the things you enjoy.

Practice positive thinking and affirmations - tell yourself that you are strong, worthwhile, a beautiful and deserving person, and do it often. If you catch negative thoughts, counter them with their opposite - change ‘I’m not good enough’ to ‘I am worthy and a strong, confident person’ etc. It sounds stupid but it does work.

Also, seek counselling if you’re ready to.

Also, challenge the ‘what if’ thoughts. If you think, ‘What if he leaves me?’ catch that thought and then tell yourself, ‘Well, so what? I’ve always been fine, I’m a strong person and I deserve a loving partner. I can get through anything.’

I know all this sounds like crap, but these are things I’ve learned through years of CBT and various therapies, books, etc. and have helped immensely with my anxiety and negative thoughts. If you keep doing it, it really will help. Always defuse the bad thoughts, and use humour if you can - ‘What if I’m not good enough for him?’ ‘Actually, so what? Maybe I’m just too fabulous.’