Does your DP us your name?

[Buckingfrolicks]

I realise my DP of 22 years rarely if ever actually says my name. Nor does he call me by any endearments.

I feel weird about it as we don't have the best relationship, and this seems symptomatic of that, to me. But I may be over thinking! Hence my question...

Do your spouses and partners use your name? Would it bother you if they didn't?

That's sad that he doesn't use anything. We only tend to use our proper name if we really need to get each others attention but the rest of the time it's "boo".

No, only while talking about me to other people. If he wants to attract my attention, he usually says "er" with a long pause afterwards until I look like I'm paying attention!

I'm 29 and my parents have never, in my lifetime at least, called each other by their names. They just have one pet name each that they use. Even if they're arguing! It seems really odd to me.

Yes, in the same abbreviated form the rest of my family use. He has a couple of jokey abbreviations of it as well. Conversely, I usually address DH by a longer version of his name that isn't his actual name (e.g. Jonathan instead of John). My family have started doing this as well!

I know the phenomenon you mean, though - my dad rarely uses my mum's first name either to address her or refer to her. It's always 'your mother' when he's talking to me or DSis. My mum uses his name all the time.

DP calls both DD and me "darling". Gets a bit confusing when he calls out "darling?" And then when the wrong one responds "no, big darling/little darling".
Sometimes get "gorgeous bum" too

Sounds a bit weird if you get called nothing at all...

This is so interesting! I thought it was just me that felt weird about this!!!!

Mine does and even after 50 years it still makes me tingle.He has such a lovely voice.

Only if he needs to attract my attention - otherwise nether of us use the other’s name. And we’re not pet name people.

It’s not actually sad or weird, just a different way of relating. Personally I find pet names cringey - we’re all different!

Yes there is a huge amount of crap in our relationship and I may start a separate thread about that...

but it's really interesting to me, that many of you don't hear your names and/or your parents don't use their names with each other, it helps me see that this perhaps is not a symptom of the state of our overall relationship! My DP has a lovely voice and I'd frankly love to hear him say my name! I wish I was maras2!

So how does he call you if you are in separate parts of the house or you've got a call and he is near the phone - I get so annoyed with the amount of times I have to call everyone in this house and sometimes their names sound weird I say them so much - I can't imagine how you could not say someones name when you live with them!? Might try it!

I mentioned this once and told it was a sign he was avoiding/avoided intimacy. It was a revelation. And spot on.
Very hurtful and symptomatic in my case of other problems.
Things are actually improved now he calls me ‘arse’ 😀

I got "mummy" tonight and DS wasn't even in the room!