Is colleague flirting or am I being a fool?

[shitaminowacougar]

Feel like I'm way too old to read the signs anymore! In my head we're mutually flirting but every now and then I get the sense that it's just me and I don't want to make a fool of myself !!
I'm a fair bit older but get on with everyone in the workplace and go out with them from time to time etc! I also don't look my age I might add.
I can't read this guy. At a wedding at Xmas I was joking with someone else about turning 40 and Botox and he piped up with "well you're a very attractive woman" ha ha
Since then we banter over email - this week he's been away and has emailed me chit chat while away. It's always kept like friends of diff ages I suppose but I think there's an undertone to it be maybe I'm a fool and I'm the only one who sees the undertone lol
But then asked me if I'd set him up with someone I know (young) and I was gutted

Should I stop reading into our exchanges and am I making a fool of myself or does he actually possibly fancy me (I'd hate to think him fancying me was totally ridiculous as I'm not hideous just older )

If he's asked you to set him up with someone else and it's kept friendly chit chat I would say he doesn't fancy you.

I don’t think you’re being a ‘fool’, at all. You’re allowed to think someone might fancy you post-40, you know!

That said, if he’s talking to you about other women, I’d say he thinks you are attractive but doesn’t fancy you per se.

Husky actually you've nailed it - pre 40 I'd have no doubts at all - but he's younger and I'm not quite as I was though I know I'm not awful ha ha !! But it's confusing now in a way. Maybe he does fancy me but the age thing is just too odd! I guess I just don't want to feel invisible at this age - and am not looking for a relationship with this person by any means it's just a fun ego boost (or not !)

‘Cougar’ is just another unpleasant term used to denigrate and control middle aged women. You don’t need it in your vocabulary.

Sounds like he knows you like him and hes playing games with you. If he was really interested in you as a potential partner then he wouldnt be asking you to set him up with that other person.
If I were you I'd knock all the emails on the head unless its work related and just be professional but friendly at work.

Sounds tricky.

If he asked me to set him up with someome else I would not be impressed.

Or if I was in the mood for games I woukd say, why whats wrong with asking me on the date. But I am silly so dont take my advice.

No idea. But you sound awesome - dont put yourself down about your age please.

What is the actual age gap ?

What is a fair bit older? 5,10 or 15 years? I think that’s relevant

I don’t think ‘the age gap’ is relevant at all, really. Assuming they’re both adults, and there’s no damaging imbalance of power, two people can obviously decide for themselves whether they work as a couple - without arbitrary rules imposed by strangers - surely?

Not sure that anyone would call 5 years ‘a fair bit older’ if both people are over 30, would they?

I'm in my late 40s and would probably be a lot friendlier and chatter to a young man as I know he wouldn't take it the wrong way. Maybe the reverse is true?