Can I go back without him feeling second best?

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

So to cut a long story short I started talking to someone online at the start of December, we met and I liked him. I kept my options open and met another guy on the same site, we never met but continued to talk online. I wanted to see how things went with the first guy as we actually met in person, so when the second guy asked me for a drink I kept pushing it back as I wanted to see how things went with guy number 1! When things got serious with me and guy number 1 I told the 2nd guy I had met someone and I wanted to see how it went.

But zoom forward a few months, me and the 1st guy didn't work out. I still quite liked guy number 2, I would like to approach him again and re connect our conversation. But I think this will just make him look like second best?

Nah give it a go, life is too short. But i'd probably be super blunt like 'sooooo it didn't work out with X, don't suppose you still fancy that drink'

OP - what do you have to lose?
Ask him how he is getting on with OLD and him what happened with you...
These things happen.
If he is still looking - he’ll talk to you

It isn't about being second best. You were being decent that you had met the first one and didn't cheat or hedge your bets. Makes you a better and more honourable person so make him see that.

Update..I’ve messaged him and he said he would love to go out for a drink!! Thanks for your advice!

Good luck! Hope it goes well

Are you serious?! You split up with the other guy only THIS week! After several threads about him becoming your daughters new step dad, you moving her to his country. So much for taking a break from dating!

Oh I am place marking this for tomorrow!

I was reading this thinking go for it, then I realised it your username.
Maybe give dating a break and just concentrate on your life and your LO for now.
Your dd is very young and if I remember correctly doesn't have her dad in her life, this makes her additionally vulnerable when it comes to forming relationships with new men.
You do seem to be in an awful rush to meet a man and have a relationship.
I remember some of your threads from the last few months, LDR, already talking about having a baby and considering moving to Switzerland, the last one was only a week ago.
Why the rush?
I've found that the trying to force something usually ends up in bad choices. Maybe just work on yourself, make your own life as happy and fulfilled as possible rather than looking for someone else to complete it. It's usually times like that that you then meet someone who is in the same headspace.

The guy said he is happy to meet for a drink! So we will see how it goes.

I’ve been single for 4 years (my choice) , only just recently started dating. So I don’t feel that is showing any rush. I’m still learning to date with a child and realised through dating the French guy I definitely won’t be introducing my DD to anyone for a long time. I knew from the beginning that the Long distance thing and the age gap would be a potential problem hence why I posted about it in the first place. I brought up the age gap this weekend to see where his head was. And I’m glad I did. If I was irresponsible I would have just gone with the flow and just not pressed the issue. Clearly the guy I was dating isn’t for me.

I liked the sound of the other guy when we spoke on the phone, he has two older children and lives near me. I see no problem with meeting up for a coffee and go from there.

I am also more than happy being single. I have been for 4 years and I can be for The rest of my life too! But it would be nice to finally start dating, even my mum said to me you’ve been like a nun get out and and give it a go!

*So I don’t feel that is showing any rush
*
I’d say you’ve gone from 0-60 pretty rapidly. But good luck to you all!

I think in this instance it was the long distance thing which was accelerating it. Short intense bursts of spending time together definitely moves things along quicker.

It’s definitely better for me to date someone with children, my age and doesn’t want anymore children and most importantly lives in the UK! I’ve been single for 4 years so it’s going to be a learning curve for me.

Good luck... you'll need it and could possibly come off as desperate. Just remember this one might not work too

I know it may not work. I don’t see why I would come across as desperate? I think it’s the opposite if anything.