Stuck in a rut

[user4000]

Any advice on what to do?

I'm feeling like I'm stuck in a rut at the moment and don't know what to do about it. I don't seem to be enjoying life as much as I should do. If it isn't the kids it's the DH.

Our house is just full of arguments from literally sunrise to sunset and I just can't take it anymore!!! The kids attitudes stink and all they do is fight and argue.

As for DH I feel so distant from him at the moment. Just everything he does or shall I say doesn't do annoys me all the time. He's so lazy it's unreal. Then when he does something he acts like the world owes him something. I have to mother him all the time which isn't helping. He doesn't look after himself properly. I just feel like I do everything. He keeps telling me lies all the time and making up stories about his day and things like that.

We've had so many "talks" and I've told him he needs to change because I can't go on like this. But no matter how many talks and chances I give it doesn't change him.

What am I to do! I'm just so down at the moment and unhappy. I just want to feel normal and have a real smile on my face instead of a fake one

You keep giving him chance after chance.
That's where you are going wrong.
He has no consequences for his (in)action so why would he change.
Time for a proper ultimatum and follow through or live with it.
Horrible as that sounds that's your only 2 options at this time.

Stop giving him chances?

Time to shit or get off the pot. You’ll probably find that smile if you got shot of him.

My ex was like that, if you had have said P instead of H I would have wondered if he was.

I found my happy ending when I finally removed the parasite.

You are allowed to be happy.

You have given DP chance after chance and he hasn't changed.

Time to get your finances sorted, get legal advice and get him out.

Honestly, imagine how lovely life will be without him slobbing around. Kids will probably be better behaved too.

I'm just finding it so hard. I don't want to give up. He's had a shitty last but I know that's no excuse. He has no one other then me and the kids.

I do love him, probably not as much as I used to as much as that hurts me to say. How do I show him that I'm serious about what I say? Clearly having a break down in front of him doesn't work

Right so last night I made him listen to me and told him that he's got a month to turn things around or he's gone. I told him absolutely everything!

He now knows this is his last and final chance. He knows what he has to do now.

I've told him he needs to be a man, less needy, do stuff round the house and no more lies. Let's see if I mean enough to him this time. I've told him he won't get no affection from me either till he changes either.

Well I hope you follow through on that now you’ve said it.

In the meantime though, it might be worth sorting through everything as if you’re planning to seperate from him. So it’s all in place if it happens.

I know i have to be strong. I've never had to leave anyone so this is another reason I'm finding it hard. I now cringe when he calls me pet names like "bubba and baby" ugh! I never used to look at other men but recently I have been is that wrong?

No but it does mean you’ve probably detached emotionally and are ready to end things. You might limp on for a while but once the cringing starts it’s just a matter of time.