How long did it take you to get over a bad break up?

[MrMagnoliasBoot]

I split from my DH 6 months ago, it was totally the right thing to do and I do not want him back. However since the break up he has been nothing but nasty. We have to communicate because of the DC's otherwise I would have gone NC.

I cannot deal with the pain caused by the constant put downs, trying to use the children against and the general character assination. It is starting to take its toll on me and making me depressed.

I guess what I am asking is if anyone has similar experience and how long it took for the nastiness to stop effecting you?

You can go NC. Only speak about the child through email. What are you two talking about if it's not about the child?

I try and only talk about the children, he keeps getting angry, accusing me of sleeping around (I haven't been) even though he has a new girlfriend. I am a terrible person etc...
I did change my phone number but he just stole the number off of DC's phone. I blocked him but he uses the kids phone or other numbers to ring or text.

I don't react to the nastiness and only talk about the kids, however it is taking its toll on me. I have started to panic everytime I hear from him.

I know I need to stop letting it get to me I just don't know how.

MrM there is far more to this than just getting over a breakup.

Sounds like he is doing what my extb is doing, trying to make himself look like a good guy, but everything I do is wrong. Its exhausting and draining. But I can hopefully see a bit of a light coming as he is moving away from the area we currently live. Just trying to ignore these things, is difficult I know this. Are you able to chat to someone about it, I have found that it has helped me a bit, and I see him for what he really is now.... so relieved at a lucky escape.

As for getting over a breakdown, I have read here, in general, about a month per year you have been together. I don't know if anyone can confirm I have this right.

Keep a note of everything and consider reporting him for harassment.

Is there a trusted 3rd party that can screen emails for you and only pass on the info that is actually useful in regards to the LO's?

It has taken me 18 month to feel a bit better, more stable after hard break up with ex partner ( we have no mutual children) MUCH harder if you still must have contact. You need to minimise his opportunities to talk to you as much as you can ... ( I can see you are trying to do this)

Wow if hes still this invested in your life and controlling you, he must not be that invested in his new girlfriend! Poor woman!

Thank you for all your replies. I will set up and email address and ignore all contact from him apart from on there. Also if he continues to be nasty I at least have it all in one place.

All I care about is what is best for the children. I guess I have just got tired of the constant nastiness. I will continue on and hope even if it does continue with time hopefully the sting will be taken out of it.