Still in love with my ex

[vhicks95]

So this is my first time on anything like this, but this is also my first time in a situation like this. I am currently pregnant for the first time with my boyfriend that I've only been with for 4 months. We've been through a lot even before getting pregnant but ever since I found out, I've been having these crazy dreams.. they're all about my ex. Him and I were together for 7 months and it was alright, the guy I'm with now just gave me more attention and I was stupid enough to just leave my ex... I've been in contact with my ex and he's so supportive in everything.... even hearing about current bf issues... my current bf has not worked since we got together 4 months ago... he has done temporary jobs but nothing stable. It really scares me now that I'm pregnant because my eyes are opening up so wide to everything I've been blinding myself to. I do love this man though, hes so sweet and tries his best to make me confortable... however there are some things that I'm getting more and more annoyed with. For example, I couldn't stop crying cause he got really defensive over a joke about me having to pay for a lawn mower part for him and he started screaming at the top of his lungs at me and punched the wall in and made a hole.... all I could do was cover my face and yell stop while crying my hardest uncontrollably... ever since that day I have felt like I've been detaching myself from him... and now that I've been dreaming about my ex and he still wants to be together regardless of a child.... I have no idea what to do. I want this baby to have its father but at the same time I don't know how much more I can take of supporting a man that cannot get a job and is high tempered.. I am in love withe both of these people.... one has income and is able tof provide for me in his own home, also having two kids of his own that are older so he has the children experience..... the other has no income whatsoever and also has two kids but he hasn't seen due to a divorce. I feel like I have answered my own question but still would like an opinion... mind you my bf and I share my car because he doesn't have a license and if I were to leave it would have to be strategic which is never a good sign... pretty much fearing leaving bit feeling like I should.

You know the answer to this. You have to leave him. He is abusive and will only get worse. In a rush to get the kids to school so can't say much more now but big hugs and will be back later although by then I'm sure lots of others will have said what I am going to say. Stay safe.

Well it's a no-brainer to make your current bf an ex while it's still early days. Things are not going to magically get better.
Take some time to be man free and enjoy your new baby with no complicating factors.

I'm sure someone with more first hand experience than me will be along soon, but fwiw I also think you need to leave this violent man, but not to boomerang back to the other guy.

I think you need to be alone for awhile, to concentrate on yourself and your baby. They were both short relationships, and neither were quite right for you. The first guy only looks good now, in comparison. But if he was perfect for you, you wouldn't have had your head turned by the second one.

I guess you will always have to have contact with the baby's father, and it is a shame you only realised his shortcomings after getting pregnant, but you can't change that now.

Obviously it’s your choice, but I assume that the pregnancy can’t be that far along if you’ve been with this guy only 4 months?

Is staying pregnant the best course of action for you, particularly if the father isn’t very stable? He’d be part of your life in some way (via the child) for at least the next 14-16 years. If you have a choice here still, are you 100% sure you’re making the right one for you?

No matter if I'm only 6 weeks and only been with the guy for 4 months, I would never even imagine an abortion... I do love my bf but with everything, it's just really hard to be happy and especially when I think about my ex more than I should, I'm so confused... and Just when I feel like I should leave my bf, we just start being ok... my mind and heart and in this roller coaster and I can't seem to get off of it.

You sound very young. You can't know someone after four months and he's already screaming at you and punching walls etc, but you say you love him but are still in contact with your ex. What about a baby in all of this? Remember you've got this baby for 18 years and it has to come first and that includes any boyfriend, future, current or ex

I don't really think your predicament is that you are in love with your ex.

You seem to be lurching from one disaster to another; and now seemingly with a baby in tow.

Forget both men, stand on your own two feet and work out whether or not you really are in a financially, emotionally and mentally healthy place to have this child.

4 months into a relationship everything should still be perfect and exciting, with you both on your best behaviour and at your happiest.

If you are seeing this side of him at this early stage, it is only going to get worse. You cannot imagine the strain that a baby puts onto even a rock solid relationship.

if you are determined to have the baby then I think you should do so knowing that you will be doing it alone, either on your own terms now or at a later date when he leaves or finally pushes you too far. He sounds awful, not a keeper, not good father material.