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Original poster

The moment you realise that the man you fell in love with no longer exists

8 replies

Evengalina · 20/03/2018 01:50

I had an epiphany today. The man I fell in love with is no longer the man I am in a relationship with.

Maybe he will be that special person for someone else. But for me, well, I’m now grieving the loss of the man he was but can never be again in my eyes.

The moment he kissed another woman, he broke a promise we made to each other. And I really tried to get past it but he is defensive and unrepentant. Has been doing the non apologetic “I’m sorry if I hurt you. We weren’t getting on, she was there blah blah blah”

So tonight I made the decision to leave him for good.

Where did the man who loved me with all his heart and I loved equally go?

OP posts:
Tictactic · 20/03/2018 02:01

Sorry to hear Even. How long have you been together? Any children? Do you live together? Wondering if you can take a break and see how you feel rather than ending it. How long have you felt unhappy and have you tried to reconnect? Flowers

sadiesnakes · 20/03/2018 02:09

Very sad OpThanks I think you're very brave calling it a day. My Dh didn't cheat, but lied to me about something I felt was very important. He continued to lie and like you I've realized he's not the type of man I thought we was and made out to be. I couldn't walk away and it's effected our relationship everyday since and I don't know if I will ever trust him again. Trust is everything and without it I'm not sure things can ever be the same again.

Original poster
Evengalina · 20/03/2018 02:10

Hi @Tictactic. We have been together officially for 18 months. But were friends before that.

It’s like he’s a different person. I don’t even recognise his eyes anymore. He used to be so kind and sweet. Now, he looks shrewd and cynical. I just don’t understand what happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Evengalina · 20/03/2018 02:11

That’s so true @sadiesnakes. Trust us everything. When that is broken, where do you go from that?

OP posts:
branstonbaby · 20/03/2018 02:13

I am sorry OP.

Hopefully in time you will be grateful to discover this after 18 months rather than 18 years.

Thanks
AcrossthePond55 · 20/03/2018 02:43

You know, 'who he is now' has always been there. He's just been playing a part for you. But his mask has slipped and you've seen who he really is.

My BFF married such a one. His mask lasted about 2 years, right up to the birth of their child, before he wasn't able to keep the charade up and his mask slipped, big time. All his mates knew he was just playing at marriage, but naturally they didn't say a thing.

I know it's hard, but be thankful that you're seeing it now, rather than after you'd truly built a life with him.

TheNaze73 · 20/03/2018 08:54

Just take the positive out of this that you only wasted 18 months on him & not say 18 years.

First day of the rest of your life. Make it happen Flowers

yetmorecrap · 20/03/2018 09:20

It’s the million dollar question isn’t it, it’s like some people seem to get their feet under the table and undergo a manners and personality transplant , sorry OP, a lot of us have been there

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