Awkward and so hard

[Noodlee]

So my partner and I have been together 2 years. He suffers from social anxiety and is shy when it comes to talking to others. He doesn't have a great work ethic and hasn't held down a stable job ever. He is 20 and so am I.

So a few days ago I broke up with him because of this. We have a 5.5 month old daughter. We live with my dad, sister, sisters partner and child. All his family live in Ireland so he has no where to go so is staying on the sofa. We don't know how to act with each other. We are acting like best friends and everything is fine but deep down it's not. We both still want our relationship to work. He said he is going to do everything he can to win me back as he loves me so much. I love him too and want it to work but need to see him step up. I need to see him out working and getting help for his anxiety. He has had 2 interviews and has another one next week and he has been to the gp about his anxiety.

I don't know what to do though! We are acting fine and I feel deep down that that is wrong as we are broken up right now. We aren't cuddling or kissing or anything but just acting as friends. I don't really know why I'm posting this but I just feel so lost right now and would love someone to just talk to about It all.

He is. He is doing all those things.

But we have only been split up like a week or so and I don't want him to think that if he tries for 5 seconds then we will be fine. I want him to know I'm 100% serious. But I do miss him. It sucks

Hang on in there Noodlee, it might be hard, but he has to know that you mean business. See what happens after his interview. Do you live in a rural area .

Why don't you just sit down and talk to him and say look I miss you I miss us I want us to word it if we do this you can't just give up trying now I still need to see the effort or I'm walking away.

Don't just throw something away hun that you really want.

Go to him say you love him and give him a massive hug and work things out. He seems like he's really trying for you.

All the best hun.

We just kissed...for the first time in like a week. We can't help it. We love each other and want to be together. But I need him to prove himself and really work on the things I've said. Just because we kissed doesn't mean we are together and I told him that

Hun you clearly love him and want to make things work seal it already be together make it work. Say to him let me together again.

I hope it works out for you too.

You can’t kiss him and want him to be there for baby’s first swimming etc and then turn around and tell him you’re not together and he needs to try harder, that’s not fair.
From your posts I’d say be together and support him in going to the gp for anxiety medication/help and help him figure out what job he can stick at, be a team.

You could both work or study part-time or work shifts around each other - both working wouldn't necessarily mean the baby in fulltime childcare.

You have to bear in mind that this is your own future prospects and longterm earning potential you could be reducing.

I haven't said to him we are together yet but we have been kissing and hugging today. Do I let him sleep in the bed yet or say to stay on the sofa for now...?