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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So tired of living a lie

11 replies

escorpion · 19/03/2018 12:02

I`m so tired of being in a relationship with an emotional abuser. Hardly anyone knows I am struggling, no one know the full extent of day in day out grinding me down and I am so fucking tired.

I am tired of his emotional affairs.

I have no family in this country. I am tied here because of my son. I can not leave. I have to have father`s permission to go back home.
There are no benefits here. I can not afford to live on my own.

I am stuck in a hole and I don`t know how I am going to get out.

OP posts:

TorchesTorches · 19/03/2018 12:08

I am so sorry to hear this. Its very far being away from home (I live abroad too, in my husbands home country with our kids). I haven't any advice except is there anyone to talk to at all there? Keeping a front up is exhausting and it sounds like you need strength instead of more drains on your resources.

Original poster

escorpion · 19/03/2018 12:10

Thanks torches. I do have friends, but not anyone I would consider a confident. I don`t like the idea of laying all my shit on someone else, but it may be time to see a councellor.

OP posts:

TorchesTorches · 19/03/2018 12:21

A Councillor is a good step to relieve some pressure. Really keep in mind talking to a trusted friend, even if it's via Skype and they are at your home country. Don't think of it as laying your shit on them, it's also gaining perspective and people who like you will want to help you!

Original poster

escorpion · 19/03/2018 13:07

Thanks so much for your kind advice.

OP posts:

hellsbellsmelons · 19/03/2018 13:27

Are you married?
Please contact Womens Aid and see what they say.
Also Rights of Women.
There must be a way.

Original poster

escorpion · 19/03/2018 13:57

Is womens aid a universal organisation? Yes I am hoping there is a way out.

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 19/03/2018 14:04

Where in the world are you?. For instance the UK, Europe, Asia, the Middle East?. Why do you need your father's permission to go back home?. If you do see a counsellor you need to see that person on your own and certainly not with this person present. You also need decent legal counsel.

hellsbellsmelons · 19/03/2018 14:06

I think OP means the father of the baby.
She can't just leave the country with the baby without his permission.

Not sure WA is universal.
Where in the world are you?
Other MN from that part may have better advice for you if you let us know.

Original poster

escorpion · 19/03/2018 15:54

Im in south america. Yes I need written permission from the father to take the child out of the country so I am stuck here until child is 18.

OP posts:

springydaff · 19/03/2018 23:57

Is this any help?

category12 · 20/03/2018 06:34

Would 'grey rock' techniques be any help in managing your relationship?

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