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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating. Don't think I'm cut out for it

29 replies

Tictactic · 18/03/2018 16:53

So have been a single parent now for 9 years following divorce from ex h of 13 years. Had 2 relationships (A year ish) since. I seem to get myself back on my feet and life in order to move forward again then unexpectedly met new man
He really is lovely and has all the qualities I'm looking for however has only been separated a year from his wife, of 20 plus years. They live separately and no question the relationship is over. We get on well, there is spark and enjoy each other's company. He lives an hour away. He has a far better job than me and is wealthy. We're certainly not matched there.
It's been 7 weeks... we have a weekend trip planned at Easter.
Initially he said about falling for me but now the messages I'm getting a short and sweet. Not sure if I'm being unfair as he is busy but equally not sure it can meet my needs. Any ideas what I do?

OP posts:
Tictactic · 25/03/2018 08:47

Thanks for the advice. We were having fun and both falling for a each other. It felt very real on both parts.
I've had a lot of experience of dating and we're both in our 40s. There was a connection as soon as we met.. butterflies the works. I'm at a loss now. Feeling numb and deflated and feel off balance. Plus I'm at work today. I will leave him alone and try to move forward positively but he had all the qualities I was looking for. I've found it doesn't come along often. So sad

OP posts:
Tictactic · 25/03/2018 18:10

I'm confident I can go no contact. I'm really questioning what I'm doing wrong. I'm having such bad experiences with men.

OP posts:
BubblingUp · 25/03/2018 18:22

He's still legally married to another woman no matter how separated he is. In talking with men in this exact situation, they have no intention of legally divorcing due to financial or family reasons - so there is no point dating these "separated" men. Maybe he pulled back because if he got into a serious relationship with you, he would need to actually divorce - when he may not want to - even though the romantic relationship with his wife is well and truly over. His daughters may not welcome you into the situation. Next!

Tictactic · 25/03/2018 21:52

Yes! So true. Couldn't see wood for trees. Doesn't mean I'm not absolutely crushed.. not next for me. I'm done!!

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