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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Overthinking in early stages

3 replies

Teenagermum1979 · 18/03/2018 16:16

Hi,

Bit of a back story. I have survived parental emotional abuse and a couple of not very nice romantic relationships which have left me with low self esteem and make me question myself in all things romantic. I am a chronic over thinker. Had some psychotherapy last year which has helped but I think a part of me is never going to leave the self doubt as it's been with me for so long!

Basically I met a man last year. He had been separated for about 4 months, we dated until before Christmas but nothing heavy. I let my overthinking massively effect the relationship but it wasn't helped by his complicated situation with his ex wife and kids.

We parted and I dated other people for a couple of months but a conversation on a date with another man made me realise how much I missed him and so I approached him about getting back together and he said he'd like to.

I'm desperate to just go with the flow and accept that despite his situation not being ideal, I would prefer to have him in my life rather than not even if it means we can't see each other all the time etc.

But my head won't let me go with the flow and I run the risk of ruining it. I do all things suggested for overthinking, I meditate, read, see my friends etc. Have a very fulfilling life outside of him so it isn't a case of being desperate and sitting around waiting for him.

I just wondered if anyone has been in similar position and has any advice? It would be greatly appreciated. Please be kind, I've had enough unkind words to last me a life time x

OP posts:
Adventuritis · 19/03/2018 13:27

I think you just need to meet up with him and explain how you feel. Try to just enjoy each day without projecting too much into the future.

ALittleBitConfused1 · 19/03/2018 13:47

Maybe it's not your head over thinking but your gut trying to tell you something.

Teenagermum1979 · 19/03/2018 17:29

I have thought that myself. But I honestly don't know what 😩

OP posts:
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