Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship conflict with a baby

6 replies

ShazzaJ · 17/03/2018 23:15

I have just finished formula feeding our 7 week old daughter. She took all the feed but just under 30ml which is fine. 30 mins later my other half is washing the bottle and tells me I haven’t mixed it enough as it gloppy at the bottom. I explained I recalled mixing in the same as any other bottle and sometimes it can separate as it’s the comfort milk. He starts getting cross and says she hadn’t been fed properly and he is going to refeed her. I said she had been fed fine. The milk was mixed, it wasn’t water and he can’t refeed as it will be uncomfortable for our daughters small stomach. He just gets annoyed so I walk off. Despite me trying to explain about it separating whilst standing and it could have done this after the feed and asking him not to refeed our daughter. He does any way and tells me to just get to bed as I won’t admit I made up the feed wrong. I make up all the feeds and I would admit if I hadn’t mixed it. I know it was mixed fine. I think the remaining has just separated or separated before the feed. Either way she was fed ok, if she hadn’t have been we could have refeed in an hour or so if she was still hungry not force another bottle down her straight away. He was so cross, I can’t understand why, even if I hadn’t have mixed it, I wouldn’t have not done this on purpose. There is no way my daughter is going to settle to sleep tonight on all that food. I’m sat upstairs in the bedroom listening to him try and stop her crying. I’m so sad we aren’t a team.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 17/03/2018 23:21

If she isn't hungry she won't take the extra milk from him.

Is he usually bossy and controlling in nature?

pog100 · 17/03/2018 23:21

It's can be hard when you are both really tired but he sounds like an idiot with little respect for you. I may be wrong but I imagine you have more to do with making up feeds and looking after the baby then he does. Does he generally have to be right about everything? If he's generally ok, I'd sleep on it then assert yourself tomorrow when you are less tired. If he isn't generally OK I'm afraid this may be the start of his attempt to be more controlling. You need to consider your future carefully if that's the case.
Trust your instincts, you are right, the baby wouldn't be harmed even if it got more water then mix, just be hungry earlier. They make their views known...

Cheesenacho123 · 17/03/2018 23:24

Sorry but what a twat, yes comfort milk does separate after it’s been stood for more than half an hour. She’ll only sick back up what she can’t keep down. Really don’t think he needs to undermine you like that, you made the bottle, he should respect that and be fine with it, if you say you made the bottle correctly then you made it correctly

Chippyway · 17/03/2018 23:34

I’m sorry but nobody would be force feeding my child

Go back down there and hold the baby! TAKE CONTROL! He sounds like a controlling bastard. Are you really gunna do nothing and let him try and force feed your 7 week old baby?

Stars1979 · 17/03/2018 23:34

Thank you. I definitely would have said if I hadn’t have done it correctly as we all make mistakes. She has taken most of the extra milk. I’m concerned that as she is a colicky baby that she won’t stop herself even if she is full from drinking the extra milk and making herself uncomfortable. Anyway it’s done now, as you said she will be sick if it is too much for her. Just went down as he is trying to settle her crying and all he wanted to do was try to show me how the bit left in his bottle wasn’t like mine. I just said I’ll be back down to settle her if she isn’t settled soon. We had a few cross words here too I’m afraid. Don’t know why he is being like this. He can be a bit strong sometimes but I’m quite a strong person too I guess so we do clash a bit but can’t understand the cross way here. Yes I do all the nightfeeds and most day ones too. Anyway I just want you daughter to sleep and be ok, I’m just frustrated at my bloody husband way and needed to vent so thank you.

Stars1979 · 17/03/2018 23:37

Yes I know what you mean about force feeding but it is his baby too...I don’t believe he wants to harm her in anyway and thinks its best even if I don’t think so. Maybe you are right I could have done more to stop him though ☹️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread