Sulky DH

[jemr2345]

So last night I was rushing about sorting things out after dinner, at the end of a long week at work, bit knackered and harassed. I was going out to the car to get some treats I’d bought the DCs and DH said, in a flirty way, as I passed him, “any treats for me?” I said no (I would have thought it was pretty obvious I wasn’t in the mood for any banter), then he reached out and grabbed my boob, which really pissed me off so I shouted at him “no DH don’t do that” and went off out to the car (kids were in another room and I don’t think overheard). It was obvious I was annoyed, but I wasn’t going to fall out with him or anything, I just reacted in the heat of the moment.

When I came back in he had gone to bed without a word (7pm) and now hasn’t spoken to me or spent any time with me and DCs for over 24 hours, even after I apologised twice for snapping at him.

This is shit behaviour from him isn’t it? I’m so upset that he thinks this is a proportionate response and I’m just supposed to wait until he’s speaking to me again and then he will act like nothing has happened. He’s got form for sulking but he had been better recently. I don’t know what to do about it. Wait until he’s speaking to me again and then tell him I think his response was unacceptable? But I’m certain based on previous experience he won’t apologise so then what?

O God. I remember having to have sex in order to keep the peace and stop EXDH sulking and whinging about it all the time. But it wasn't me he wanted, it was the sex he wanted. All I can tell you, OP, is that it is wonderful walking away from a man like that. And mine was upset but he got over it - people do.

I could say a lot more but I think it's been covered: stuff like he thinks that your body is his property. I ended up feeling like a wanking post. Yuk.

Oh gosh OP I could have written some parts of your post. My DH ignores me when he feels like we haven't had "our time' together or I haven't seemed as interested. He thinks I don't love him if we don't have sex. The times we'd have the same discussion going round in circles. My DH works shifts and so does nights sometimes, we hace 2 DC under 3 and I have 2 SC who we have as well inbetween his shifts etc. Both work, activities etc sometimes I'm just fucking knackered. He's overly affectionate sometimes it gets on my nerves I can't move without being grabbed, hugged, kissed etc. I know I'm moaning and should feel very lucky I have a partner who adore me, loves me (and DC), cares for us, is the main earner but sometimes I feel a bit suffocated. I don't want to separate I love him but I just want to be able to say no not tonight without a major sulk looming !!!. Like you it's not always like this , our situation seems to stem from shift work, no alone time etc, you can guarantee that when he's not on nights it will be time of the month, or kids will be restless at night. Sometimes I do ask myself why I feel like this?

Fizzy mama I wonder if ta because he equates your love for him tossed the same is true, he loves you because of sex not because of you which is not a basis of a long term relationship.

Fizzy it's not about adoring you, it's about controlling you through sulking and feeling that he has the right to your body whether you want sex or not.

We haven't always been like this, pre-children and a change in job we had so much more free time to ourselves (obviously) and sex was never an issue. I think there might be fault on both sides, he tells me 30 seconds for a cuddle is nothing- I am always running round doing housework etc and tells me to slow down. He has wondered if my lack of interest has meant I no longer want to be with him. And he gets upset by this. We have talked at length about it, he has lost a lot of relatives including his parents when quite young so I think he is afraid of losing people close to him. I have myself wondered why the lack of intimate time together doesn't bother me as much as it does my DH, I just put it down to busy life but then wonder if I'm neglecting our relationship to an extent or taking it for granted.