Hi Everyone,
So this might be a bit long-sorry but I'm very looking forward to see what your opinion is on my relationship.
Me(25) and my boyfriend(32) have been together for about 3 1/2 years. We have been living together for 2 1/2years ish.
We met online, a weird match. He's an engineer with good education and I have been working with kids since I moved to the UK (about 6yrs ago). Our relationship didn't start great because of me ... I was eager to have a strong relationship but when I got together with him I didn't know how to act. I wanted to do thing right but I had no experience. My boyfriend used to have quite a good social life. Me not so much ... always struggled to find friends and keep them, I still only have 2...
We've had our ups and downs, loads of. I mean loads !!! But we're still together. He tried to break up 2 times but I asked him both times to try to work on it. And I have been trying but I think he might not be interested... we got distant with each other, I feel he's not interested sometimes, I feel he's given up sometimes I mean he's still here and we laugh and we travel loads but I just feel he's not committed. This makes it really hard for me as I'm constantly thinking and trying to guess what is on his mind. And this is another problem, overthinking and having time for it. I'm only working 2 days a week and studying from home... I feel maybe sometimes I should just chill the duck out and stop thinking but I can't... I was so convinced up till a few weeks ago that I love him but I'm not sure anymore... I just want us to go strong and give myself a break! I want to stop overthinking but how?!
He's not the best at communicating... and I love to talk stuff out.
We haven't had sex in 6 weeks and it's another thing that's driving me crazy. I miss him and I miss the sex and the intimacy ... I told him that and he said his willy is sore. That's it . That's all he said. I have found out a few days ago that he goes on fab swingers and adultworks... I think (hope) he's just looking but hurts me like crazy. Am I not good enough? Am I bad at sex? Faulty? Worthless? Small? Disgusting? These are the things that pop in my mind and I don't know what to do.
I want to make this work and have a strong relationship but how ?!! It's up and down and I know I've been going on about the downs but we have many great amazing ups as well. And I can count on him and I love him and my world would fall apart if he wasn't in it. So what's there to do?
Thanks for reading guys and I will add more details as the thread goes on...
DeeDee