How do i turn this around?

[Namechangemum100]

Dh and I have been together for over 11 years. We have always had a wonderful relationship, very close and happy.

We had our first baby last year and she is the centre of our world, however I have really struggled to adjusting to life as a mum. Before DD I ran my own business and had a very active social life.

Since DD Ican count on 1 hand and have a few fingers spare the amount of times I have managed to do something child free (she is 13 months). We have absolutely ZERO help what so ever. Dh works very hard running his business, so I am alone all week every week. He never takes annual leave but does come home early if I'm having a particularly bad day.

On top of all of this, I am 38 weeks pregnant and I am utterly exhausted.

I'm so worried I won't cope when ds arrives in a few weeks, and our relationship is starting to suffer as a result.

We barely talk anymore, we argue all the time, I feel resentment towards him, and I think he feels the same towards me.

I just don't know what to do to turn it around? DD is a very demanding baby, and with no help, it's the 3 of us all the time which leaves no time to work on things apart from the evenings which are short anyway as I'm so tired I'm in bed an hour after DD.

Does it sound like we are doomed? Any advise welcome.

I should add that dh often offers to take DD on his own to give me space, so it's not that he doesn't try. But the weekends are the only time we have together so I often so no as otherwise I wouldn't spend anytime with him.

He's a wonderful day so I would hate this to turn into a slagging match about him.

You're not doomed, however there's nothing you can do to turn it around. This is life with dcs. What you are going through is simply the pressures of family life - the majority experience what you've described at some point. It's not your relationship that's failing, it's adjusting to family life.

Talk more, be open about your feelings. Sit down and have a good chat. It doesn't sound like you've spoken to each other about this? You will come out the other side.

This stage is exhausting so I’m not surprised you’re both struggling. There’s no point prioritising weekend time together just for arguing and bickering though.

Take your dh up for on his offer. Let him take dd for a couple of hrs so you can do something by yourself. Let him have some free time to do something too. You both need a bit of space for yourselves.

Prioritise time together at the end of the day when you have dd in bed. Eat together and chat, watch something on tv together.

Accept that these few years will be difficult so you both need to support each other and be kind to each other. Do little things for each other to keep connected even if it’s just a text to say something nice, a hug when you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, making a cup of tea or buying something nice to eat. Whatever you like.