My oldest friend is married with a DD aged 4. She has been unhappy in her marriage for a while, after discovering that her DH likes to dabble in cocaine, has a sex addiction, likes prostitutes and suffers from ED. Initially she asked her DH to leave but he pleaded with her so she decided to try and make a go of the marriage for the sake of her DD. 15 months later she has decided she is unable to work through things and has asked her DH to leave - he has refused. Things are messy between them.
Yesterday she told me, she has met a married man at work. She has been seeing him since December last year and they are in love. The plan is to apparently leave their spouses and be together. The man she is seeing is 40 years older than her.
I was pretty blunt with my friend yesterday. Although I agree she should end her marriage, she isn't happy. She's breaking up a marriage, with a man that is 40 years older than her, someone who should be looking forward to enjoying retirement with his wife. She thinks she's in love with this man and he's told her he's madly deeply in love with her. She's shown me messages from him counting down the hours till they next meet. Needless to say, the conversation didn't go very well, and she accused me on being judgemental and unsupportive.
I'm concerned about her, I feel she's looking at the relationship with this other man through the hurt and pain of her current relationship. I want to help her but I have no idea how.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to handle the situation? I don't want to lose her, we've been friends for over 15 years.