Bad stuff happened since relationship is it a sign ?

[meme70]

My husband and I have been together 5 years. Since we’ve been in our relationship has some awful things happen to us do you think it’s a sign to spot up or pull together ?

We had his ex harass me as he ended it with her long before I came along.

His ex wife makes unreasonable demands with his daughter and has constantly made things really hard for me. Using her daughter as a weapon if we don’t do what she says my husband can’t see his daughter to her being found out she’s a drug addict and an alcoholic so social services git involved.

Then the house we rent is terribly damp black walls and ceilings on going problems and landlord won’t fix any of them.

All our electrical appliances keep breaking in 4 years we’ve had
2 cookers
2 washing machines
4 toasters
4 kettles
3 microwaves
3 hoovers
2 PCs
3 TVs

I was pregnant in 2016 mc at 8 weeks
Fell immediately to twins lost one at 8 weeks then had hemoraghing bedrest caught sepsis lost Lily at 5 months pregnant was in intensive care

Then I had hemoraghing for 2 months 11 blood transfusions in 3 months with a blue light ambulance to resuss

Not allowed to try for another baby.

We brought land and it has planning permission for a house 1 year of hell trying to build this house
Dodgy builders awful neighbours
Council lying

We’ve lost one cat she got run over 4 weeks after we lost baby lily she was 15 months

We lost my cat I had 11 years 2 weeks ago he has mouth cancer

I know worse things can happen but I wonder why so much happens to us?

In 5 years can you honestly say you had nothing good happen?

Agree sometimes its a run of bad luck or maybe some karma

What a fucking nasty thing to say to a poor woman that has had such shit things happen in her life! You should be ashamed of yourself.

I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rotten time. Sometimes it does feel as if every time you put one foot forward you get dragged two steps back. It doesn’t matter what other people are going through, OP, that’s their life and this is yours. You have every right to feel exhausted with it all. It’s very difficult not to fed overwhelmed by life at times, especially when the past still has such a grip on your present feelings. I tend to find it very difficult to let go of the past and it has a huge impact on my daily mental health. Some times it’s like walking through treacle. I just try to keep one foot in front of the other and hold on tightly to the things that give me some joy.

It sounds as if you and your partner have come trough a lot, too. Things will get better and when you’re in your new hone, you can put this all behind you. That’s not the same as forgetting or moving ‘on’ from the bad memories, but more of a case of moving ‘forward’. 💐

Call shelter anyway as long as your up to date with your rent he will have to take it to court to get you out and he will still need to get the work done before letting it again anyway

Op, what does your gut instinct say? I had a dreadful time when with ex, so many negative external events.I think on reflection our relationship was a factor.Ex prioritised himself and rarely allowed us to work as a team.Often his decisions caused issues, an example was a house, I felt it would be very costly to renovate, he refused to listen (now know it was stonewalling) consequently we had issues with the build which added enormous stress and my health suffered.He wasn't impacted as not a highly sensitive person, unlike me.
I had pg losses also and I think stress was a factor.We had burglaries but ex largely unaffected as slept through it, I woke and confronted burglar! As ex didn't experience the shock he just minimised it whereas I was left reeling.
So I can see that a partners decisions and reactions can influence life events, then if you are burnt out every new issue, such as toaster breaking feels overwhelming.

If you find you take on react easily to others emotions then being with a partner who has brought issues into your life, such as a problem ex your nervous system may be in overdrive and this will have an impact on your decision making and coping strategies.
My life without ex is no longer as stressful, I still very serious health concerns but I am now supported rather than invalidated.
As a result I feel I can calm myself.

Consider that you maybe burnt out and treat yourself accordingly.Look at those around you and see if they are heaters or drains on your energy.

OP I am just getting into this woman's work. You may find it interesting. In my case, I went from a healthy young woman to one with serious illness within months of getting into a difficult and controlling rel'p. Coincidence? I didn't think so at the time, but didn't have the insight into what was going on. Years later, I find this woman's video online:-

That you have gone through everything you have listed in this thread and you are still going, still breathing, still striving towards your goals and dreams is INCREDIBLE

You are amazing. I've wanted to give up with less trouble on my plate. You are so strong and resilient and I bet your partner is too, to have gone through what you have described

I hope they are a comfort to you in the tough times. Just wow