fed up

[bubbles67]

i have lived with this guy now for 4 year but have known him 15 year,, we met as we were both bus drivers and worked for the same company,,we were both married to different partners but 4 years ago we found ourselves both divorced,, i was in a unhappy marrage and balooned to 26st, i had a gastric bypass and lost 13st and thought yea after a 13 year unhappy marriage i can now be happy and start dating,, i have always been a sexually active person and love male attention,, in the 4 years i have been with this new relationship i have gained 4 stone of what i lost,, i am so unhappy with him,, no sex at all right from the start,, he never explains why and after 4 year i have given up asking,, once he was drunk,,this was about a year into our relationship we were arguing, and he said do you want to know why we dont have sex,,i said yes tell me,,he said its because you dont turn me on !! i hit him because i was so angry,,ive never forgotten that,,it plays on my mind constantly,, and to be honest its made me hate him and killed anything we had feeling wise,, he said day after he didnt mean it but to me the damage has been done,, they do say a drunk always tells the truth,, i often think his he gay as his ex wife once told me she once caught him kissing a guy,, hes always denied it ,,he does have 2 kids is always his reply,,he always eyes up other girls and watches porn with females on it so ime as confused and miserable as hell,, he comes out with excuses like he cant get a raise due to smoking,,or him been 43 hes hit that age ,,hes even been to the docs and they cant find a problem,, i wouldnt mind so much if he gave me attention in other ways,,but no nothing,, i get a peck on the lips now and then,, turns his back everynight within seconds and snors away while ime layed there feeling rejected,,annoyed and very lonely,, i want him to go but he is the only 1 working and his wage pays the rent,, i would go back to work but difficult with having a bypass op as your bowels are less easy to control,,not easy when driving a bus :),, i want to go back to work but worried my op has in 1 way ruined me doing that so i sit at home all day feeling miserable and gambling online and eating chocolate !! plz help,, i am 51 and female by the way,, my partner is 43 and male :)

You don't love this man, in fact you say you hate him. The feeling appears to be mutual. You don't have sex. You think he's gay. But you don't want him to go because he pays the rent?! Come on!

You might as well turn to honest whoring - there's a good market for older BBWs.

The reason you're having upset stomachs is because you're eating foods you shouldn't have after bypass. If I eat a bar of chocolate I can count on explosive diarrhea within the hour. So be a friend to yourself and get your eating back under control. Your pouch is still there, it still works, you need to help it out though. Google the 5-day pouch reset plan.

Sounds to me like you were never happy in this relationship so why bother to continue it just to get your rent paid? its eating you up and your now falling back into bad habits like comfort eating not a good road to go down which you know. RE why cnt work hmm think your need to see your doctor about this or as previous poster said it could be due to your gastric bypass. As you say he watches porn and if he can get himself off to that then maybe what he said drunkenly is the reason just move on from him and apply for job where it wnt be an issue for your bowel like working from home doing ironing? or a cleaning job so its not too many hours.