feel stuck, confused & struggling to move forward!!

[Lou3484]

Long story short. Me & my ex partner have a lb together, all was fab till he walked out. He kept coming back with regrets of leaving and love declarations & leaving again. This was all last year, off & on. I moved house recently and he came back saying all or nothing now so I let him back. He walked out again after a week. Hasn't seen our lb since & he's blocked all form of contact. I'm so confused as my head thinks he'll come back again as previous, that's what I'm struggling with. Advice appreciated xx

Don't let him back. He is using you

Don’t keep letting him back. Stay blocked. It’s impossible for you to move on if you don’t finally finish it. This isn’t good for you and it’s not good for your lb. He could grow up with abandonment issues if his dad is in and out. Very unsettling for him.

So sorry for your situation this must be tough specially on your son. This happened to my best friend years ago. I wouldn't take him back this time he can't keep blowing hot and cold and playing with your feelings and also your lb thats not healthy for him just cut your losses and move on he clearly isn't worth it and is probably having a case of "the grass is greener on the other side" and when its not he comes back to you and if this keeps up it will eventually effect your lb. Hoped this helps x

You're not the first to say this and that he's liking me being like this, incase he feels like walking back in. My heart feels torn esp when our lb sees us getting on.

Don't let him back the next time. He's walking out constantly coz he knows he can always rely on you to take him back. Pull the plug on it ..he doesn't get to walk in and out of you and your child's life anytime he feels like it.
Take back the control and your self respect.

It does affect our lb as his behaviour changes for days after he disappears again. I do feel to blame to as I've kept having him back. I feel strong again, then booom. Hes trying come back. He just think his behaviour now (blocking contact & staying away) is right. It's always the same. My problem I think is I've hope, that things will be different.

Thankyou to you all who've replied ☺

and that's why he keeps coming back because he knows he's allowed to if you feel you can't stay strong and tell him no ask a friend or family member to be there and tell him straight that he is no longer allowed back but he can see your son and to make arrangements to take him out of even to go to a friend or family members house etc least then he can't say you stopped him seeing your kid. My aunt had to do this when her ex husband was kicked out he still had his key and would turn up when she wasn't there and would let himself in make a sandwich and cup of tea and put the tv on! my mum put him straight told him he's not to just to turn without calling/texting first and she also took his key away and arranged to have the locks changed

Have a read of the Baggage Reclaim website. Stop letting this fool toy with you and DS. Is he paying the correct amount of child maintenance? If not get onto CMS as a priority.

Stop letting him do this to you. It's not healthy for any of you.

With recently moving house has not go keys for here & rarely turns up unannounced. Like I said it's weeks or months of nothing then he slowly starts getting in touch. I'm so used to his behaviour that I think he'll keep coming back after awhile as its happened so many times before and that's a wrong mindset. He does pay maintenance and pay the correct amount.