Haunting my dreams

[DontDIY]

When I was younger (17) my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, (they had briefly dated previously, when we were younger).

I am now 36, have a 13 YO DS with him, and we’ve been split since DS was a tiny baby. He is married. There have been many, many ups and downs when we we’re together, but it was my choice to never get back together, when he wanted to when DS was little, as I had developed feelings for someone else during a particularly bad time prior to being pregnant with DS, and I could just never get back to how I had felt about him before that.

Anyway... I still dream about him cheating on me with my friend, nearly 20 years ago! Like, have woken myself up through crying! It’s crazy, as I just don’t feel anything for him anymore.

Does anyone get this? It doesn’t bother me as such, but it baffles me and I just wondered if anyone else experienced this kind of thing.

It’s a trauma op. It must have really hurt you when he did this so even years after it comes back .

So, I’ll always get this? I had one again last night, although I suppose that’s because I was thinking about it again.

I’ve been through worse traumas and don’t ever dream about them. I just find it so weird.

I dream about my ex husband and a guy I lived with also all the time and it’s 20 to 30 years ago , no desire to be with either of them, bloody weird I knowOP and quite disconcerting

I can often link my dreams and put some reason to them. Have you been thinking about him more, then dream, then think about the dream. Its like a loop. Have you had any counselling? Do you have other insecurities you link to how you felt about it at that time, like your memories of that emotion?

Try to accept the dreams as they are, don't stress about them, or give them any more head space than it needs.

No, I’ve nothing going on that makes me think my defences are low. And I really don’t think I need counselling. There were harder things to come to terms with in our time together, and she wasn’t the only person he cheated with. There is often a second friend in the dream, who I no longer speak to, my choice and not because of the cheating. Anyway, I’m being a bit vague, I don’t want to give away too much here.

But, at least I’m not alone! I just wonder why out of all the shit that’s gone on in my life, this is the thing I’m seemingly subconsciously bothered by.